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will I get my daughter back? :(

  • anny
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21 Jul 12 #344587 by anny
Topic started by anny
Hello,
This is a long story but gotta make it short,
well I left my husband because of DV and now he is trying to turn it around saying it was all me when it wasnt, I called the police on him they took him I was scared I didnt press charges which I should have done.
Anyway I work full time he doest he is on DLA because of postraumatic stress disorder because of this he gets legal aid, so he used to drop and pick up our daughter from school and because of this he is the main carer of her which I didnt know.
Anyway because of the DV incident I was told to leave him but at the time I had social services telling me to do so which I did but when I tried to get my daughter, he went away with her for 4 days and social services were looking they found them did a welfare check and said that they were fine, by then I became homeless and couldnt afford emergency housing so then had to stay with friends which made it harder get my daughter back with me and also I had to continue to work.
Anyway after a few weeks I got a private rented house, after 2 months I got a solicitor, now Im waiting for the first hearing, while all this happened my husband served me with divorce papers, had accussed me with many serious false allegations, and at the same time text me and begged me to go back with him, and lately he tried to get me fired with more false allegations.
I got no family in the uk, I got no criminal records, no drug issues, no alcohol issues, no mental illnesses, and all I care is my daughter I have reported every issue with social services call them lots of times but they wont get involve, my daughter is living with him and he is refusing contact and only wants supervise and accusses all my friends of being druggies and prostitues of course is not true, all I want to know is if will I ever get my daughter to live with me for at least half the week? even though she has been living with him for nearly 4 months?, I got a solicitor and they said if I tried to remove her from his house it will go against me even now I very much believe he is brainwashing her with all this lies and he is not acting on her best interest only to hurt me :(, Im also in DV course and got a support worker.
thanks for your answer.

  • jumpingthroughhoops
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22 Jul 12 #344592 by jumpingthroughhoops
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Hello.

From the sound of it a lot of your recent housing problems have been out of your control and the court will understand this. They are also used to hearing a barrage of allegations and accusations in family hearings and without evidence they won''t carry much weight.

Keep as much evidence as you have with regards to the DV and any other forms of abusive or negative behavior.

Yes you certainly stand a very good chance of getting a shared residence arrangement. It may be a long fight but always worth it in the end. Keep strong and focused.. Good luck

  • ClimbMountains
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11 Aug 12 #348828 by ClimbMountains
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What you need to do is try to keep calm and always be polite and calm (very difficult to do in difficult situations)

Do not keep calling Social Services unless you have clear evidence that your daughter is at risk (for reasons that are new and not previously notified to Social Services). If you keep contacted them or contact them without good reason then it could seriously damage your case.

You need to save all evidence such as messages, texts, emails, letters. If he has tried to get you fired you need evidence of this.

DO NOT react to what he is doing. Stay calm and collect your evidence.

If you react you will support his allegations. If you stay calm you can explain the reality to the court.

Sometimes sitting and doing nothing can be the hardest thing to do but it can also be the best thing to do.

  • loveourmum
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12 Aug 12 #349077 by loveourmum
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Your ex is clearly playing games with you - if he wasn''t he would have left the country by now.

His game - my way or take the consequences.

As far as your child is concerned - that is is his bargaining tool.

Do not be fooled into "return and all will be fabulous between us again" - not a chance.

He has lost control of you now play his game until you get your child back then you will be rid of him out of your lives.

Claim benefits - so what - people who don''t deserve them claim them!

Family first then think about your conscience!

Typical of a control freak - insecure because you CAN and WILL stand on your own two feet and SURVIVE.

Best wishes.

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