A well respected, award winning social enterprise
Volunteer run - Government and charity funded
We help 50,000 people a year through divorce

01202 805020

Lines open: Monday to Friday 9am-5pm
Call for FREE expert advice & service info

Annoyed & confused

  • redwine47
  • redwine47's Avatar Posted by
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
23 Jul 12 #344727 by redwine47
Topic started by redwine47
Contact problems again......... Stbx states willing to have child 8 weeks out of 9 summer hols. Ps & copies this to his solicitor.

Firstly child does not get 9weeks hols gets 6. Secondly child returns to school on 30th Aug & stbx has had child for 1night so far and it is already 23 july.

Stbx has sent me further messages to say he will now bte available from 15 July to 30aug.... So child went last Tuesday 4.30 thot for few days but was brought back Wednesday the next day at 5pm apparently stbx had previous engagements & also had to get car fixed so unavailable to have his son . but would be delighted to have him from 29 July onwards. (another change)
H
I was shocked when my child appeared at the door next day ... just as well I hadn''t booked or was away.. Was not told about this until I sent him a message to find out what was going on... WTF....

Problem is stbx is sending messages to my child saying how he misses him and wants to see him & has all sorts booked for them to do but apparently I am not letting this happen!!! .

OMG do I tell my 13 year old truth? Why does this hassle have to happen? I don''t really care if child goes or not but I''m really p**d off I can arrange to do nothing.

Ps stbx has been on numerous hols this year. &gets. 6 weeks during summer and just before summer term he cut out all cm & sm which we''ll have to wait till sept to sort in court.

Wot a sh1t. :angry:



Sorry in advance.

  • Cinnabar123
  • Cinnabar123's Avatar
  • New Member
  • New Member
More
23 Jul 12 #344734 by Cinnabar123
Reply from Cinnabar123
Hate to say this, but I think you need a contact order if you haven''t already got one, or you need to go back to court to enforce it, then at least it''s fair to the child. Good luck, I have been thru similar hell, and at the end of the day at least your child is old enough to have a huge say in the matter. You just might need a bit of law to make your ex do his duty to his child.

  • sexysadie
  • sexysadie's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
23 Jul 12 #344741 by sexysadie
Reply from sexysadie
It may be hard to get a contact order for a thirteen year old, to be honest. But I don''t think it is unreasonably to talk to your son at least a bit about the situation and work with him to sort out where he is going to be when and what the implications are if it goes wrong. If your ex doesn''t want to behave like an adult, then unfortunately your son will have to grow up a bit early himself.

Make it clear that you both support contact and are happy to have him at home if he would rather be there or if his dad can''t have him and see if you can work it out between you. Treat it as a problem that you have to solve together.

Best wishes,
Sadie

  • fairylandtime
  • fairylandtime's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
23 Jul 12 #344745 by fairylandtime
Reply from fairylandtime
Have teenagers myself & don''t think a contact order would work, they vote with their feet tbh.

Contact is sporadic at best, & have given up with even trying to get some level of consistent contact, but it is just not to be. Talking to you son could work but for mine, due to (I think) input from x if & when I try to organise something (because hey I''d like some time sometimes) I am seen as being awkward & annoying. God forbid if I wanted some time away, so far in 2+ years the few times I have needed x to step up if he finds out why he ensures that he is unavalible at the very last minute, making me look & feel like the worse parent in the world!

So I ensure that I have a back up plan, one son is old enough to sort himself out & the other I as if he can sleep at friends & always have grandparent / other potential to visit the house so no wild parties :laugh:

Use to get really angry but tbh the only person it affected was me, so have solved it in other ways.

JJx

Moderators: wikivorce teamrubytuesdaydukeyhadenoughnowTetsSheziLinda SheridanForsetiMitchumWhiteRoseLostboy67WYSPECIALBubblegum11