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  • NotGuilty
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24 Jul 12 #345083 by NotGuilty
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Hi Guys,

New to this forum. My wife and I separated last year before our daughter was born. Currently daughter is 10 months old and I get to see her once every fortnight for an hour. I have to travel 300 miles and I just get an hour. Anyway, I wanted to increase my time from 1 hour to 2 hours and gradually building up. Arranged a mediation and no joy! Fortunately from the mediation session I got to know her accusations. Same as most of you. Mainly to do with temper. Even tho its not true and she does not have any evidence to prove it. After the mediation, I was surprised when I received a letter from her solicitors saying that she did not co-operate because I lost my temper. Absolutely ridiculous. Logically, if I lost my temper in the mediation then wouldn''t the mediator stop the session instantly, get the police involved, report me to social services etc. Nothing of that sort took place.

I am now thinking of taking her court. After hearing her allegations, it is in my best interest that whatever I do is transparent.

All I want is to get to see my daughter in a supervised contact centre where I can work on a plan gradually increasing my time and as she grows older I can take her out and eventually bring her home.

How shall I defend myself? I have read on the forum that it is best not to accuse the Mrs of anything. Honestly, I don''t even want to accuse her of anything and I just want to get on with it and get it sorted properly.

According to her I have temper problems. Shall I start attending any anger management therapy''s? Do you guys think I am being reasonable by just asking to have contact in a supervised contact centre where I can have a plan? Should I ask for anything else? My mrs lives alone and when is goes out etc she leaves the daughter in her mother''s care which I don''t like. Can I request that she should be kept with a registered child minder and the cost should be split between us?

What is the process? CAFCASS will get involved? Will I have a mediation again with CAFCASS present? How shall I portray myself?

All your ideas will be appreciated.

Hope you guys are enjoying the weather :lol::lol::cheer:

  • u6c00
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24 Jul 12 #345088 by u6c00
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Hi

I assume that you do have parental responsibility as you were married at the time of the birth?

The process is that you will apply to the court for a contact order using form C100. You can get a digital copy on the HMCTS website, fill it in and print 3 copies. Take them to the court, you may be able to submit via post or electronically as the court will be hundreds of miles away for you. I don''t know the rules on that though.

Form C1A is for making allegations of abuse (physical/emotional/sexual/psychological). I imagine that you will not need to fill this in at all. If you do make allegations it will make the other party more hostile and therefore harder to achieve what you want.

I am not a legal advisor by any stretch, but I would think that going to anger management may be seen as an admission of guilt. Instead there is a Separated Parents Information Programme that may be more appropriate. You might be able to refer yourself to that.

Cafcass are likely to do some safeguarding checks, which mean talking to you and your ex, checking that neither of you have a criminal record or are known to social services etc. They''ll then make recommendations such as continuation of supervised contact etc.

Your requests seem perfectly reasonable but will take some time to get there so be prepared for the long haul.

Best of luck.

  • NotGuilty
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24 Jul 12 #345089 by NotGuilty
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Hi,

Thanx for the info. Yes we are still married. Since I have parental responsibilities, how can I use them at this stage? Daughter is only 10 mnths old.
I will look into separated parents info program. Sounds ideal.

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24 Jul 12 #345090 by u6c00
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Parental responsibility doesn''t give you any powers at this stage, but not having it would be a problem.

For example, if you didn''t have PR you would have to get permission to apply for a contact order (filling in more forms). Your ex could then dispute you having permission, for example by claiming that you are not the father etc.

  • NotGuilty
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24 Jul 12 #345093 by NotGuilty
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I am the father and I am also paying CM. Could I request the court that my daughter should not be left at ex''s mothers house and instead a registered child minder?

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24 Jul 12 #345096 by u6c00
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If you have some evidence that the child is at risk of harm by being left with the grandparent then you could apply for a Prohibited Steps Order.

If there is not strong evidence though, you will probably be seen as being aggressive, petty and difficult.

Evidence might include a criminal record, prior involvement with social services etc.

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24 Jul 12 #345101 by NotGuilty
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Thnx. Very helpful info. :)

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