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How much detail?

  • staffydog
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24 Jul 12 #345100 by staffydog
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Hi,

I''m taking my daughter abroad for a week, holidays are split so I have her for 3 weeks at the moment, 2 now and 1 week later on.

Daughter is 7, I have already let the Ex know where we are going, what day we leave and what day we get back, she also has my mobile should she need to get in touch, however she keeps asking me for the flight numbers, name of the hotel and it''s contact phone number.

I know it''s not a big deal in the grand scheme of things but it''s just another example of her controlling and dictating manner so it kind of grates a bit.

We are in the middle of contact proceedings at the moment, next hearing beginning of October.

How much detail should I/do I need to give her?

There is no order for residence at present and we both have PR.

  • rubytuesday
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24 Jul 12 #345103 by rubytuesday
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You dont need to provide her with more details than those you have already given her, but it''s not an unreasonable request to ask where your daughter will be staying for the week.

Do you think that seh wants these details so she can cause issues for you on the holiday by calling the hotel etc, or is it a genuine request to know where your daughter will be that week?

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24 Jul 12 #345151 by staffydog
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I don''t think she''ll cause issues or call, it''s just a control thing as I say, she already knows where she''ll be, for how long and who with.

Do you think she let''s me know where our daughter is when they are away for weekends in her contact time? my opinion

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24 Jul 12 #345154 by rubytuesday
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I didnt think that she would have afforded you the same level of contact details when she takes your daughter away.

If you suspect it''s more about control, then as I said initially, you have given her enough details, and if necessary, she can call your mobile.

Enjoy your holiday :)

  • zonked
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24 Jul 12 #345158 by zonked
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staf - the issue is not what is fair but how best to manage your ex so as to minimise future contact problems. Even if it is all nonsence, providing additional ''reasurance'' to ex might mean less conflict in the future.

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24 Jul 12 #345162 by jslgb
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I dont necessarily agree it is a control thing but obviously you know your ex and her behaviour quite well.

If my stbxh was to take my daughter away i would want to know at least the hotel they were staying at for piece of mind. My ex would argue it is a control thing and say i would turn up. He uses this to avoid giving me his address even though if i drove up to the area i would find his house with ease. Still not turned up in over 18 months!! If my ex was to bother enough to ask me for details when i take our daughter away i would be forthcoming with at least the accommodations name.

Ruby is right, you have given her more than enough detail, but the real question is how difficult will she be if you dont provide her with what she asks?

Maybe a hotel name and rough flight times may help?

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24 Jul 12 #345186 by staffydog
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Thanks guys, it''s a small issue really and usually I''d give her whatever, as it makes no odds to me, but it''s just one of those straw,camel,back things!

I just think where do I draw the line, she dictates to me time and time again, tells me that she ''expects'' to speak to our daughter while she is with me, this is fine with me, it''s just how she goes about it.

IMO she is bitter and it''s personal, but that''s her look out, she''s like my stepmother, just a little younger :dry:

I''ll let her know the hotel we are in, she already knows the rest, short of our full itinerary :)

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