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Christening a child of seperated parents

  • Deedum
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25 Jul 12 #345373 by Deedum
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What does the vicar think of baptising a child with separated parents?

I thought christening a child meant agreeing to bring that child up in the Christian faith and I would have thought that meant parents being married and together for that child.
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  • jslgb
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25 Jul 12 #345390 by jslgb
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I doubt very much that the vicar or equivalent would get into the politics of the family. Families come in all shapes and sizes and if they were to discriminate they probably wouldnt have any congregation!

My daughter was baptised before my stbxh and i got married and although the father encouraged us to think about marriage there was no pressure.
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  • Fiona
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25 Jul 12 #345397 by Fiona
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khan72 wrote:

Fiona,
I have a question. If my daughters hair looks a bit "mullet-like", can i get her hair cut and not have to talk to ex about it?
It would be a definite improvement. Current hairstyle reminds me of "Roger Ramjet". Not cool.
Maybe I should take pictures before and after so that a judge can see its an improvement.


Yes, I wonder how the judge would have reacted if I''d objected to my ex introducing the children to Jediism rather than my belief in Far Far Away Land. :P

The point is someone with PR having a child christened (or their hair cut!) without consent of the other parent isn''t unlawful or an offence. That''s not to say that not discussing, agreeing or not obtaining consent or going to court is the answer either although to share care successfully parents also need to respect each others autonomy.
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  • Fiona
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25 Jul 12 #345400 by Fiona
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Deedum wrote:

What does the vicar think of baptising a child with separated parents?

I thought christening a child meant agreeing to bring that child up in the Christian faith and I would have thought that meant parents being married and together for that child.



My understanding is that as far as churches are concerned consent from both parents isn''t required to baptise children. Historically this is so that in an emergency children can be christened quickly. Some churches ask for permission from both parties and will postpone the christening if it isn''t forthcoming to allow the other parent time to seek legal advise and apply for a court order or go to a higher authority in the church for a decision. Different churches may have different practices.

With church memberships falling I wouldn''t imagine many churches could afford to decide to refuse to baptise children.
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  • pixy
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25 Jul 12 #345409 by pixy
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Actually, Fiona, quite a lot of vicars are very fussy about christening. I have known them to impose a minimum period of church attendance before they will even consider an application to baptise. Marketing the church isn''t like marketing Sainsburys or Tesco - it''s not about numbers but about faith.
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25 Jul 12 #345416 by Fiona
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I wasn''t suggesting for a moment that "marketing" the church was like marketing Tesco''s or Sainsbury''s. Rather if churches and Christianity are to survive in the UK they need new members and to encourage interested young families in all their different forms.

Neither am I saying that parents can just walk in and expect to have their children baptised. It''s just that generally churches seem to have a policy of postponing christenings to allow for consent or court orders to be obtained and if not the matter is referred to a higher authority in the church for a decision so children may be baptised with only the consent of one parent.
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  • jslgb
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25 Jul 12 #345417 by jslgb
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It depends entirely on the head of that church but it can go either way. I have friends who had to attend baptismal classes and church every week. When my daughter was baptised i worked sundays so attended sporadically when i could. Some people are more open to the fact that not everyone can or will attend church on a regular basis but still want to be part of the faith.
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