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first time staying contact

  • Dmmk13
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24 Jul 12 #345196 by Dmmk13
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My stbx has 1st night staying contact tonight and its killing me. cant stop crying. he''s got the children til teatime tomorrow but is going to be at work so his parents looking after them. he has decieved me and judge cos i agreed to it thinking he would be thete. where do i stand with this. can i pick them up in morning as its his contact and he wont be there.

  • rubytuesday
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25 Jul 12 #345207 by rubytuesday
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I''m sorry to hear you are struggling with this. It will get easier with time - use the time when the children are at their Dad''s to relax, do something new, go out with friends - treat it as "your time".

What your ex does, and where the children are and who they spend time with during his parenting time is his decision. Time with extended family members such as grandparents is good for children, and sometimes when one parent has to work, alternative arrangements have to be made (just as you would have to if you weren''t available to look after the children due to work), Im sure your ex would much rather be with his children than working.

  • Singledad1
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25 Jul 12 #345266 by Singledad1
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That was a really lovely response. I am sure even though he would love to spend time with his kids, he is aware of his responsibility towards his work which will be necessary to provide for them.

Why dont you change the day he has overnight to one where he is not working? Am sure you dont need a judge to do this, just a civil discussion. That way he can get to spend moer quality time with them and you will not feel the way you do. Everyone is a winner.

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25 Jul 12 #345283 by Dmmk13
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We were only at court last week and he took Tuesday nights instead of Thursdays so that I can see them on my days off. We assumed that he would be taking the day off to be with them especially as he made such a fuss over having them till teatime the next day. He will be having them 2 weeks in holidays and so will I so this wont really be a long term issue. Think I was just in a really bad way last night with it being the first staying contact with him along with other divorce issues.

  • fluffy76
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25 Jul 12 #345327 by fluffy76
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I remember my first weekend without the kids. I stayed on the sofa all weekend until they came home. Gradually, I filled my time with other things, works, friends and an OU degree. Now, I usually do most of my housework, studying, socialising when they''re at dads so that when they come home, I can spend quality time with them. It does get better.

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