Ex refuses to share the travelling...

Been a while since I''ve been on here, my divorce came through a few years ago - thanks to wikivorce

My ex moved 220 miles away and she has the childred, who are now 12 and 7. She moved to be nearer her parents.

Due to the long distance, we have been meeting approx half way, at some motorway services, as I felt it was fair, and convenient as we can stop and eat etc.

I am supposed to be having the children next week, and she has emailed me saying "I will not be driving to the services, but I am happy to meet you at Worcester (20 miles from her, 200 miles from me). I am not stopping you from seeing them.

Am I being unreasonable to ask her to meet me half way, or share the journeys and I collect them from her, and she collect them from me?
Is she being unreasonable in refusing to meet me half way?
If I took this to court, would I be able to get an order to make her share the travelling?

I don''t get many chances to see my kids, only at holidays, the last thing I want to do is lose out on that too!

What are her reasons fro not travelling and has she said this is to be a permanant arrangement ?

I said that we had agreed to meet there, as it is half way, and fair. She replied with "You agreed, I felt I had no choice"

When they first moved away, I did travel up a couple of times, as she said she couldn''t travel, too scared to drive on the motorway, not enough money etc.
After a few times, as the 10 hour ish round trip proved a bit too much for me, I started to pay her petrol so that she could meet me half way.
Once the divorce was settled, and I had paid her the proceeds from the house etc, I stopped paying her petrol.
At xmas, she told me she couldn''t meet at the services as she had guests, so gave me the option of driving all the way there, or meeting at the services a few days later, so my xmas with the boys was cut short.
She says that if she doesn''t do as I say, it will affect the boys, and doesn''t seem to see that she can call the shots here, if she says she won''t meet me, I can''t do anything about it, other than not have my boys. It is making me very upset.

She has given no other reason, and hasn''t said it''s permanent, but the implication is there - she said "you only have to put yourself out a few times a year" so I see this is how she wants it to remain.

Sorry to say I think she has you over a barrel mate. She has switched into ***** mode and there''s not much you can do about that. Tell her that you will capitulate to her wishes but you believe they are extremely unreasonable demands, and that if she needs a favour in the future, you might remind her of her unreasonableness.

But say it more politely than that of course

Yes, over a barrel, that''s how I feel.

Funnily enough, she has said that it''s the other way around...really winds me up!

I did consider one option - I travel up and collect the boys, and at the end of the holiday send her an email exactly the same as the one she sent me - and just say I am not driving up there, come and get them...

but I doubt it''s a good idea really

marcrs - I was about to suggest exactly the same thing. If she thinks its acceptable to change the arrangements like that, why not do it back to her?
However - be warned - she could react badly to this and start messing around with contact altogether if she''s that type of person. Do you have a contact order? If not, it might be a good idea to get one and I''m certain that she would be expected to do half of the travelling as she was the one who moved away.

PS - it could be worse for her if you got a contact order as you could get more contact on longer breaks such as bank holidays. Perhaps pointing this out might change her attitude?
And in answer to your original question, she is definitely being unreasonable!