A well respected, award winning social enterprise
Volunteer run - Government and charity funded
We help 50,000 people a year through divorce

01202 805020

Lines open: Monday to Friday 9am-5pm
Call for FREE expert advice & service info

Visitation headache

  • 2princesses
  • 2princesses's Avatar Posted by
  • New Member
  • New Member
27 Jul 12 #345624 by 2princesses
Topic started by 2princesses
My 2 kids live with me - other parent has visitation every other weekend Fri 6pm to Sun 6 pm. He had requested extra time with them this summer, my lawyer sent a letter to him via his lawyer offering 2 "extended" weekends over the summer (Thur 6pm - Tues 6pm) which he agreed to, his lawyer confirmed agreement - he already took those extended weekends, one in late June and the other one 2 weeks later. He sent a request on July 13 requesting yet another extended weekend but claiming that it will be his second, my lawyer responded that he already took the time with kids that was agreed upon so therefore this coming weekend will be regular access (Fri 6pm - Sun 6pm).

He now sends me a text asking me if he can have an extended weekend this weekend, yet again as per agreement. I responded that agreement was fulfilled, to please confirm by email that he will return kids at 6pm Sun. Instead, he sends me a text: "Fine be difficult bu denying me my kids. I will talk to my lawyer."

What do I do now? What if I drop off the kids with him Friday and he refuses to bring them back on Sunday?

  • hattiedaw
  • hattiedaw's Avatar
  • Elite Member
  • Elite Member
27 Jul 12 #345628 by hattiedaw
Reply from hattiedaw
The way I think is this.
In separation it''s best to pick your battles wisely.
Would it be so bad if he kept the kids another night or 2? It would save on solicitors fees!
The reason your post struck me is that your ex has actually asked if he can have the children for longer...he hasnt just not brought them home as many NRP''s would.

  • Chained
  • Chained's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
27 Jul 12 #345677 by Chained
Reply from Chained
If the children are happy to stay with him longer and you are not concerned for their safety, I see no reason why he cannot have them for another extended weekend or even two.

Why are you afraid he won''t bring them back on Sunday? Has he done this before?

With my ex husband we share 50/50 and there have been times we don''t stick to the schedule for various reasons. So it is not weird for me to get a call Sunday saying he is bringing him back Monday because they have to go somewhere etc etc.

If children are safe and happy, let them spend as much time with their dad as they can.

Wish you all the best.


  • jaw
  • jaw's Avatar
  • Elite Member
  • Elite Member
27 Jul 12 #345703 by jaw
Reply from jaw
I agree, unless there are reasons of which we are unaware, let the children have some extra time with their Dad. It won''t seem long before the children will be busy building their own lives and their priorities will change. If they forge positive relations with both parents, the way will be easier for them...

  • jslgb
  • jslgb's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
27 Jul 12 #345759 by jslgb
Reply from jslgb
Hi 2princesses,

I think for more informed advice you would need to answer some of the other posters questions about the situation with your ex. You mentioned you were worried he wouldnt return them as agreed and the contact you offered over the holidays seems limited which suggests there may be some problems?

  • 2princesses
  • 2princesses's Avatar Posted by
  • New Member
  • New Member
27 Jul 12 #345761 by 2princesses
Reply from 2princesses
He has threatened a few times in the past that he would take the girls and I would never see them again. Also, when my kids return from visitation, the older one acts different with me - like she''s mad at me. I also know that he tells my girls that it is my fault that we are getting divorced, that I am selfish and don''t really care about them.

He lied on 2 occasions saying that he wanted to have the kids because he would be on vacation, I accidentally found out a couple of weeks later that he did not take time off work; instead, he dropped the girls off at his mother''s house and went to work 2 days in a row - so he''s not actually spending time with them.

He is now claiming to be on vacation yet again.

  • Liar Liar
  • Liar Liar's Avatar
  • New Member
  • New Member
27 Jul 12 #345767 by Liar Liar
Reply from Liar Liar

Dear lady you have the scent of the ol'' controlasaurus ex!

He probably shouldn''t tell the kids the truth that you are selfish.

Moderators: wikivorce teamrubytuesdaydukeyhadenoughnowTetsSheziLinda SheridanForsetiMitchumWhiteRoseLostboy67WYSPECIALBubblegum11

The modern, convenient and affordable way to divorce.

No-Fault Divorce £179

We provide the UK's lowest cost no-fault divorce service, managed by a well respected firm of solicitors. 

Online Mediation £250

Online mediation is a convenient and inexpensive way to agree on a fair financial settlement.

Consent Orders from £359

This legally binding agreement defines how assets (e.g. properties and pensions) are to be divided.

Court Support £250

Support for people who have to go to court to get a fair divorce financial settlement without a solicitor.