A well respected, award winning social enterprise
Volunteer run - Government and charity funded
We help 50,000 people a year through divorce

01202 805020

Mon/Fri 9am-6pm       Sat/Sun 2pm-6pm
Call for FREE expert advice & service info

Providing packed lunches

  • autumn9
  • autumn9's Avatar Posted by
  • Elite Member
  • Elite Member
More
29 Jul 12 #345914 by autumn9
Topic started by autumn9
Some of you know my journey through the courts and the very detailed contact order in place for contact. This week the children have daily contact 10.00 - 6.00pm and I have received a message from my ex asking me to provide a packed lunch for them daily. I responded by stating that I felt it was appropriate for him to provide lunches while the girls are having contact with him, He responded by stating that he would keep his receipts for their lunches and deduct my next maintenance cheque. Thanks for your thoughts.

  • Chained
  • Chained's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
29 Jul 12 #345919 by Chained
Reply from Chained
It must be some expensive lunch he is providing them, since he cannot afford it. What are they having for lunch caviar and pink champagne?

I do not think he can deduct anything from his payment based on this. He is just being petty.

What you should consider though is whether or not it is worth it to pack their lunches yourself or have the money deducted, if you think he is going to go ahead with this, in which case I don''t know how much you will have to spend yourself to claim that money back.

Some people...

  • dukey
  • dukey's Avatar
  • Moderator
  • Moderator
More
29 Jul 12 #345921 by dukey
Reply from dukey
Can you not suggest your ex gets a new hobby, shark wrestling bugging jumping without the rope, wearing a jacket made of pork loin and doing the 100 meters dash through the bear enclosure at the zoo.

Fact, child maintenance is payed to the parent with care, the none resident parent has no say in how this is spent.

Fact, when the NRP has the children by court order it is his/her responsibility to look after the children, that includes feeding them.

Fact, CM cannot be reduced because the NRP thinks its ok to do so.

In this case you needs to get the kids ready give them their breakfast, then its for him to provide lunch and probably dinner depending when they usually eat.

Your ex is a plonker!.

  • epitome title
  • epitome title's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
29 Jul 12 #345926 by epitome title
Reply from epitome title
Isn''t it a shame that divorce/separation comes to such pettiness.

Dukey is becoming as much "always right" as HRH is - lol can''t wait to read Haway''s reply to this one!!

I too, think your ex is a plonker ;)

  • disneybunny
  • disneybunny's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
29 Jul 12 #345927 by disneybunny
Reply from disneybunny
Keep copies of the messages in case he causes futher trouble. I can''t imagine making my children a packed lunch to have while being looked after by another family member unless they were going out for the day. I''m in court all day tomorrow, will probably not be back till gone 6pm, my mother will be making meals for all the kids it is just what normal people do.

  • khan72
  • khan72's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
29 Jul 12 #345934 by khan72
Reply from khan72
Speaking as a NRP (whose ex is doing everything she can to keep my daughter away), I think you ex is being a total plonker. To be honest, if he cant afford to feed them during 6 hours, he should not be taking them. Simples. I give my ex a lot of money for CM. But when I see my girl I still put my hand in my pocket. No excuses here, ur ex is being a nipple.

  • jslgb
  • jslgb's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
29 Jul 12 #345943 by jslgb
Reply from jslgb
I totally agree with what everyone above has posted, your ex is a complete waste of space.

However, to me this situation questions your exes methods of paying maintenance. Is it through the CSA? If you were to go direct to the CSA would it be reduced by a great deal?

My ex agredd to pay maintenance at a rate of £45 a week, but was notorious for changing it as he wished. I ended up contacting the CSA and my paymenst were adjusted to £30.50 but at least i could rely on this money coming in on a somewhat regular basis.

I would suggest now is the time to consider using the CSA if you dont already and make sure the payments actually go through them. That way if he misses a payment or deducts it off his own back the CSA can recoup the money, if you have what they call a ''family arrangement'' they cant.

Moderators: wikivorce teamrubytuesdaydukeyhadenoughnowTetsSheziLinda SheridanForsetiMitchumWhiteRoseLostboy67WYSPECIALBubblegum11