A well respected, award winning social enterprise
Volunteer run - Government and charity funded
We help 50,000 people a year through divorce

01202 805020

Lines open: Monday to Friday 9am-5pm
Call for FREE expert advice & service info

can i go back to court

  • survive
  • survive's Avatar Posted by
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
29 Jul 12 #345994 by survive
Topic started by survive
Please can someone advise me, ex ius being a complete arxx about everything re: children.
He has them 40% of time, will not pay for any of their clothes, clubs, schoold residentials etc etc. He is due to take son to a new school on first day, and yet is expecting me to provide ALL of the uniform and equipment for him to do so. I have suggested having a set at each house as kids are their 40% of time, he has blatantly lied and said he can''t afford it!!!!!! Even though he has just brought a new home and done a lofet conversion and new double glazing and has 2 trucks, one of which worth 27,000, a year ago,


What do I do????? HE knows he has got me over a barrell! I have been paying for everything for ages with no additional contribution from him. Hopwever, son starting a new school, I would have thought dad would want to provide too!!!
He pays £20.00 per week CSA for each child!!! HE has also said it is my fault that he has no money, because of his legal fees.

Can I go back tyo court to change the coyrt order for contact if he clearly can''t provide for his children?

Survive

  • mumtoboys
  • mumtoboys's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
29 Jul 12 #345996 by mumtoboys
Reply from mumtoboys
((((survive)))) I doubt it. I am in the middle of an e-mail argument with my ex over clothing right now as he''s back to retaining it and I made it quite clear when I agreed to sending clothes again that I would stop as soon as he stopped sending the items back. Like you, he pays for nothing at all and I can ill afford to be losing clothes to his cupboards!

I don''t know the answer. But I do know that you''ll probably never win and all you can do it solider on. Sigh.

  • rubytuesday
  • rubytuesday's Avatar
  • Moderator
  • Moderator
More
29 Jul 12 #345997 by rubytuesday
Reply from rubytuesday
Survive, you cant alter a contact order simply because he isn''t making additional financial contributions to the children''s expenses.

If contact is working, and the children are happy enough, then is there a real need to go back through the Courts?

While I understand your frustrations, what you are basically suggesting is that he can only continue to see them at the current 40% if he stumps up extra cash. He isn''t legally obliged to pay more than the recommended CSA amount, any other contributions over and above that would need to be via mutual agreement. he is providing for his children as he is paying the CSA amount, so I''m afraid that that argument doesn''t hold up.

  • mumtoboys
  • mumtoboys's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
29 Jul 12 #345999 by mumtoboys
Reply from mumtoboys
survive, is the answer to cut back on the children''s activities? this is something I had to do long ago and whilst I got upset children for a few weeks, they soon got used to it and it''s no longer an issue. It is worth saying that their dad hasn''t picked up where I left off which is what I hoped might happen - or at least a conversation about paying for it between us.

Alternatively, could you drop your maintenance claim in favour of him contribiuting 40% to all childcare and activities? would he go for that, perhaps?

  • survive
  • survive's Avatar Posted by
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
29 Jul 12 #346002 by survive
Reply from survive
The recommended CSA amount he pays £20.00 pw, is based on a complete fictitious salary!!! He has two trucks, both with personal number plates, he has just brought a new detached house, had a loft conversion on it, employed 5 laboureres, installed new double glazing, brought a trampoline, built a large playhouse for the kids........ And yet expects me to pay for all of sons new uniform and equipemnt for his senior school. He gets a reduction in CSA due to the number of nights he has children. CSA say he gets this reduction to provide for them when they are with him. The practicality of keep packing 3 lots of stuff and stuff being left behind etc, is an enourmouse pressure on the children.
Surely when they stay with him it is up to him to provide for them?

He has even suggested that I but 2 sets of everything, 1 to keep at his house and one at mine!!!! I work, I get top up benefits. Whilst he is out gallavanting and not contributing any extra to the childrens welfare. They do a lot of sport and activites, all of which I pay for and provide the equipment.

What saddens me is that he would see them go without, at their detriment, just to get at me!! He knows if he doesn''t pay, I will!

So, I am still a bit unclear. Surely if he is unable to provide for the children, with regards to their clothes and they all need unifrom for their first day at school, then how can he justify having them overnight??

Survive

  • redwine47
  • redwine47's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
29 Jul 12 #346004 by redwine47
Reply from redwine47
Hi survive..... My Stbx just pays basic csa minus days he. Supposed to have. him..... Recently stopped all payments without any notification so having to go through csa. Stbx grocery bill alone is more than he paid in CM &has just returned from another exotic holiday. Makes me feel sick.

Anyway my child like yours has extensive school costs, travel uniform residentials etc too. He refuses to contribute is a high earner & me unemployed. My legals are going to request for these extra school costs wen we go to court sept.

Is it possible for you to do this.?

I think they forget (purposely) how expensive children can be especially teenagers eating lots &growing fast. Just had to buy new bed for child & a computer for school on top of the normal costs..... Still no contribution. Very frustrating wen stbx buys child rubbish wen he really needs trainers shoes etc...... It''s very unfair.

Ps who in government decided on 15% or 20% Csa rate. & is it not time this was reviewed?

  • survive
  • survive's Avatar Posted by
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
29 Jul 12 #346005 by survive
Reply from survive
Hi mum,

what do you mean drop my maintenance claim and he pay half of all their activities etc? How would that work. At the moment he pays me voluntary based on CSA 25% for 3 less (can''t remember the reduction but for 40%). This equates to 20 pw per child, there are 3. With no extras for residentials, or ANYTHING, even my sons wheelchair that he needed last year

Suyrvive

Moderators: wikivorce teamrubytuesdaydukeyhadenoughnowTetsSheziLinda SheridanForsetiMitchumWhiteRoseLostboy67WYSPECIALBubblegum11