good news at last

hi everyone. just to let you know....

my son sleeps every friday now and i see him for a couple of hours afetr school on a monday and wednesday.
its been 5 years in the making but as hes got older he has done the work and wants to see me a little bit more now.

he loves sleeping over and even wants to go on holiday with me. you know for short breaks.

all the problems with his mother in the has all come down to her letting him make the decisions.

the courts didnt help me.... it was all down to him.

i know i will probably still have more problems but i also have learnt that the kids do the decision making and the ex''s make the rules.

so i have bided my time and its got better.

i still dont agree with courts helping fathers enough as its very biased.

but i have got there.

never give up. never give in.
the children work things out and im sure it will get alot better.

keep in there dads.

chats

p.s thanks for all the helpful advice and support.

Wow Chats, what a wonderful post to read!

I''m delighted for you and your son. Your patience and refusal to give up is inspirational, and will give others in a similar situation hope and encouragement.

Very good news - well done for having such patience and persistence.

Best wishes,
Sadie

thanks so much for your comments.

no matter how awful his mum has been (just because she can) his mum has seen how it affects him when he doesnt see me. not that it bothers him a great deal, but 5 years and it takes him to decide what he wants to do has been a long and at times very upsetting road to be on.
i alos know that i probably have more to come, and i will just do the same.
all the money i have spent and various government (court bodies ) just goes to show that time will play a major part on having a good relationship with my son.

what he does and where he goes with his mum and nanny (her mum) he now wants to do with me. and ultimately he wants to do it with me and his mum cant say no, otherwise he gets upset.
so him calling the shots (i still think its wrong at the age of 5 yrs old) has helped me so much, but it has taken time.

if other fathers and dads can wait and see what develops (i know my case isnt a bad as some) will get there in the end.
all the arguing and lies and jealousy will work itself out in the end.
god knows what my boys going to be like at 8,9,or 10.

but im here and have never given up. im on the scene and he knows it.

im so glad ive come so far, and its all down to him.

hes a wonderful bright, clever, good looking boy who knows how to play his mum and dad. i still lay down the law when he doesnt get his own way, and when he doesnt...he goes home. its as simple as that.

he even says sorry to me when he gets made with me, and tells me (im sorry daddy but i got in a moody). he accepts that and moves on. it would be noce if his mum did that alot of the time, lol but thats the way it is,

dont give up dads and fathers. the kids will want you and need you, all you have to do is be there for them and let them know you are. they will work it out.

no doubt i will be back on here for various resoans in the future (i hope im not) lol

so thanks to everyone who has talked to me, given me advice and even told me how there situation is going.

im so glad this site kept me going and im now reaping the rewards with a fantastic growing relationship and bond with my son.

keep going everyone, theres always someone on here to help.

chats