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refused contact help needed pls read

  • woodbutcher3773
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31 Jul 12 #346333 by woodbutcher3773
Topic started by woodbutcher3773
Hi any help would realy be appreciated
I have been divorcerd for 7 years and have had numerouse court apperancies since my divorce .I have been granted joint custody with mother having interim residence.
The problem is that after every court hearing my ex will comply to the court order for 4-6 weeks then starts refusing contact i have done an enforcement order and the judge has ask how i think my ex should be disciplined which i replied this is not my descion but i would like caffcass as that my daughter seems realy upset (she feels that its her fault she cant see dad)i have tried many time when i have seen my daughter to exsplain its not and some times mummys n daddys just dont get on .
But to get to the point if the judge keeps telling my ex off and not doing anything what can i do as we all no the police are powerless to enforce contact.
And can anyone tell me about right of arrest ?could i have this put on my order and if so how will it work
thanks

  • happyagain
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31 Jul 12 #346338 by happyagain
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Some orders do have penal notices attach to them but it would be damaging to your daughter''s emotional well being to see her mum arrested.
You might want to consider an alternative if the judge is asking, and is was mentioned on this forum by khan72 just a few days ago. I can''t remember the exact name but it was a deferred residence order- basically the judge orders that unless the PWC complies with the order, full residency will be granted to the nrp at a certain point in time.perhaps you could read through the threads to find the relevant info?

  • u6c00
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31 Jul 12 #346343 by u6c00
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www.wikivorce.com/divorce/Divorce-Advice...Residence-Order.html

For a suspended residence order.

The judge needs to be certain that you could meet the child''s needs if residence was transferred to you.

  • woodbutcher3773
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01 Aug 12 #346641 by woodbutcher3773
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Caffcass have suggested i prepare for the chance that residence is reversed this is not a problem i have been in a stable realationship for 7 years ,i have my own home work full time but can work around my daughter my family and friends are all behind me 100% .
I dont want to involve police but there have been many storys told to the police about myself by my x all proven as lies which my daughter has seen the police many times which is rightly said does upset her .but if nearly 8 years on im still paying the courts and all the do is as i put it slap my x on the wrist what can i do .My biggest concern is my daughter and the emotional harm such as my x saying things like daddy doesnt love you or on one occasion my x ringing me while my daughters stood next to her saying you have this f-in kid .
I do have a very good bond with my daughter but if things persist i feel it would be easier for my daughter to just say she does not want to come to dads as for an easy life
She is very torn between both parents i have tried everything with my x offered mediation all sorts but as i say go to court then 4/6 weeks later it all starts again.

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01 Aug 12 #346655 by u6c00
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Sounds like you''ve had a hell of a journey.

Subjecting a child to police interviews, medical examinations and the like are accepted to cause harm to a child, therefore if your ex''s allegations have consistently been proven false (for example a judge has ruled in your favour at a Fact Finding Hearing) then you have a good chance.

I am not a solicitor, but in court judgements I''ve read, judges often look at the capacity of the mother to change her actions. Where a judge finds that the mother is unlikely to change her actions, residence is sometimes transferred to the other parent.

Can I ask, how old is your daughter? If she is old enough it may be worth asking for an advocate for her, something that could be provided by Cafcass or by NYAS (National Youth Advocacy Service). The job of these people is to make sure your daughter''s welfare and preferences is represented in court. These are often useful where parents of older children are unable to reach an agreement between themselves (and stick with it).

Hope that helps

  • khan72
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01 Aug 12 #346731 by khan72
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Too much animosity and Judges will turn...

An example
www.fnf.org.uk/downloads/VvV.pdf

I have not walked a mile in your shoes so I cannot say much other than... "Do what is the right thing to do".

  • Fiona
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01 Aug 12 #346754 by Fiona
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Perhaps I''m missing something but I don''t understand what you mean when you say you have joint custody and your wife has interim residence. The terms "custody" and "access" were replaced with "residence" and "contact" some years ago. A residence order can be in favour of one parent or both (shared.)

Contact orders made since Decemeber 2008 have a warning notice attached and if the order isn''t complied with you can apply for enforcement. The first line of enforcement is Contact Activity Conditons or Directions - mediation, parenting classes, DV programmes or anger management. If that doesn''t work the courts have the powers to order community service or financial compensation.

However enforcement doesn''t apply to shared residence when contempt of court proceedings have to be relied on instead. The courts can then attach a penal notice to the order and ultimately the sanctions are fines or imprisonment.

Alternatively the courts may make a family assistance order so that CAFCASS can work with the family.

Changing residence is a possibility but the case V v V outlines the difficulties;

.. there are only four options available to the court and each is unsatisfactory: one, send the parent who refuses or frustrates contact to prison, or make a suspended order of imprisonment. This option may well not achieve the object of reinstating contact. The child may blame the parent who applied to commit the carer to prison. The child''s life may be disrupted if there is no one capable of or willing to care for the child when the parent is in prison. It cannot be anything other than emotionally damaging for a child to be suddenly removed into foster care by social services from a parent, usually a mother, who in all respects except contact is a good parent.

Two, impose a fine on the parent. This option is rarely possible because it is not consistent with welfare of a child to deprive a parent on a limited budget.

Three, transfer residence. This option is not necessarily available to the court, because the other parent may not have the facilities or capacity to care for the child full-time, and may not even know the child. The current case is one in which this is a real option.

Four, give up. Make either an order for indirect contact or no order at all. This is the worst option of all and sometimes the only one available


To help we really need you to confirm if you have an order for shared residence or contact because, as above, the procedures are different. Also it would be useful to know if you and your ex have attended parenting classes or if there has been any intervention from CAFCASS.

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