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refused contact help needed pls read

  • woodbutcher3773
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01 Aug 12 #346801 by woodbutcher3773
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Cafcass are in the process of fileing a report but they are struggling as my x keeps refusing to attend appointments with them.
My daughter is 8 nearly 9.
was i said we reach agreement but then a few weeks down the road all contact is refused.
I would of thouht the court would of done something by now as if they had areward card i would have enough points for a round the world trip .At one hearing i had a high court judge my x even accused the judge of flirting with me ,it just seems to be one big circus

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01 Aug 12 #346808 by woodbutcher3773
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thanks a good read ,but just to clarify all yhe allegation made by my x and her partner are about them such as crimanal damage harrasment that kind of thing acouple of time she has rung police stating i should have returned my daughter and i have not but when police arrive i show them my court order which clearly proves she is lieing
example she said that my daughter should be returned by 4pm but court order states 5pm,she has even rung dvla and said im driving while with medical conditiuon to try and get my license revoked

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03 Aug 12 #347076 by woodbutcher3773
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Bit confused i have contact order but have been told that we have joint custody with an interim residencie in favour of mother.I think it maybe joint parental responsability.
my x refuses to attend everything CafCass are compiling report which is due by 6th sept and i will be at court on the 10th sept my x refuses to see CafCass but they have had a couple of meetings .I am back in court next week with an emergencie hearing which is just to sort out contact for our holiday but the advice i need at this time is how can i ensure contact goes ahead what can i get the judge to do to ensure that i can collect my daughter if my x refuses contact.

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03 Aug 12 #347084 by zonked
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My understanding of your post is that neither parent has a formal residence order but there is an expectation that the child lives with the mum. You have court ordered contact which is not being complied with and CAFCASS are involved in writitng a report.

My feeling is that residence is a bit of red herring and your best off concentrating solely on contact issues.

I think your options might be...

1. Letter to ex or her solicitor if represented. Whatever you write is going to be seen by a judge one day. You would basically mention the court order, let her know she in breach of it. Emphasise the importance of the order to the child. Say something fluffy about two parents working together and putting the past behind them, asking her to reconsider her position.


2. Letter/email to CAFCASS officer stating that contact has stopped, that you have a reluctance to return the matter back to court as you want to avoid further conflict if possible. You would ask if there is any help or assistance they could offer. It might be one phone call to mum from the officer is enough to get contact re-started. Perhaps there''s a meeting between the parents the officer could organise?

3. Letter to court clerk...stating that court ordered contact has not occurred...asking that the case be listed for a further Directions hearing.

I do not think that a further C79 enforcement form would need to be filed, but I could well be wrong and it would be best to check with the court itself.

In terms of sanctions against mum...well there''s community service and parenting programmes. It''s for the judge to take a view and I wouldn''t get drawn into a discussion about what punishment''s best. Your position is that all you want is to parent your child and enforcing the contact order is the only legal remedy available to you.

Are there ways to change the contact order to minimise the chances of mum sabotaging things. Could you for example collect the child directly from school or nursery? Would a contact center be helpful, could friends/relatives be used for third party handovers?

It''s worth reflecting a little on why mum is blocking contact. Many people in your shoes fall into a trap of thinking the ex is just plain evil or mad, which is not helpful. If your able to understand and defuse her opposition and anger, even if its not rationally based, then that''s certainly worth doing. Indeed, at court I would suggest pro-actively offering to provide information that might put mum''s mind at ease and stating a commitment to try and work with her constructively in the future.

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03 Aug 12 #347127 by woodbutcher3773
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thanks for reply i have done all the above i collect from school which is ok until holidays.
X has turned up at school early in the past stating there is dr appointment or even taken my daughter out of school.
The only reson i believe my X is stoping contact is a see needs to feel in control and B she has gone in to a gay relationship and her new partner is trying to play dad.
I am not homephobic each to there own but her new partner seems to be getting involved alot and also causing CaffCass problems.

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