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Contact Arrangements

  • maisymoos
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05 Aug 12 #347433 by maisymoos
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Since my ex left for OW I have been cooperative with contact arrangements for the children. He currently has alternate long weekends from Thursday after school to Monday school drop off and half of all school holidays. He has just sent me an email stating that he also wants them on my Thursday after school. I have refused. I am now worried he will threaten Court action.

Upto now I have gone along with all his contact requests and feel I have been more than reasonable. Others opinions on what may happen if this goes to court would be appreciated.

  • happyagain
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05 Aug 12 #347437 by happyagain
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I don''t think it''s unreasonable for him to want to see the kids during the week, at present he goes 10 days without contact if I''ve understood you correctly. So what he is effectively suggesting is alternate weekends and one night midweek. This seems quite normal.
Is there any reason why this wouldn''t work, such as him being unable to drop the kids at school on the extra Friday?

  • zonked
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05 Aug 12 #347467 by zonked
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maisymoos wrote:

Others opinions on what may happen if this goes to court would be appreciated.


Your ex will get the additional mid week and your child will reap the benefits of that. Or he will fail, in which case he will at least know he tried.

  • eyes on horizon
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05 Aug 12 #347469 by eyes on horizon
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I agree with the two other posts. I think 10 days is a bit long to go. I have mine alternate weekends (thru the Monday but often only from Saturday am depending on my shifts) and have them for tea on Wednesday''s, sometimes overnight shift dependent as well. It''s also worked out well as ex has her evening access course on a wednesday. What we do do is not do the weds during half terms and split them evenly (feb hers, June mine etc etc) as this allows for me to take a whole week off shift and her to take them away for a week without worrying about the weds) when we first split i had them twice a week for tea and every second weekend but now with 3 in different schools it''s a bit of a nightmare all round more than once a week just for tea, hence the Monday drop off. I think most judges these days advocate a midweek contact, it''s better to agree yourselves wherever possible.

What I don''t really understand is why you had to open the post with the reason why he left? Isn''t this about contact? It seems he''s hit a nerve here somewhere. I have followed your story and you''ve always had a solid head re contact. Personally as an Nrp I would encourage the midweek request from him.

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06 Aug 12 #347478 by Fiona
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There are few certainties in family law just probabilities. Some people would say that 4 days every other weekend involves fewer handovers so it''s more settled and less disruptive for school aged children than 1 or 2 nights alternate weekends and one overnight during every week.

Do you know why your ex wants to change an arrangement that he has previously agreed was satisfactory and in the interests of the children? What reasons do you have for opposing an increase in contact? How old are the children and do you know if they have any strong views?

  • DrDaddy
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06 Aug 12 #347479 by DrDaddy
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On the face of it, his request doesn''t seem unreasonable. Hey, if it was me I''d be asking for 2 days mid-week.

The key point is why you oppose it?

  • maisymoos
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06 Aug 12 #347483 by maisymoos
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The long weekend was agreed over a year ago as an alternative to midweek contact. My ex also will simply pass the additional contact straight to his parents as he does on his current Thursdays and often also during his weekends.

The children have various after school activities which they choose to do and Thursdays is one of the only midweek days that is free to do something different and spend time together.

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