Contact Arrangements

Yup - there are no saints and regardless of who is to blame, it is our responsibility as parents to come up with solutions to make things work because a problem only begets another problem. It is very very hard. I would argue one of the greatest challenges in life to face - but not impossible. Never give up on your kids.

jslgb actually in Maisy situation, the nrp had always wanted mid week contact on the Thursday and it was nrp who compromised and accepted longer contact alternate weekends.

Maybe at the time he decided it wasnt in the best interest of his children to get into another court battle but now the financial stuff is sorted he wants to sort this out.

Maisy, Would you ex accepted another night during the week or does he want Thursday for a particular reason?

It is not the fact the NRP wants additional midweek contact but that he wants the contact for his parents.

The original agreement was worded like this "Under this arrangement our client, at her discretion, may continue to make the children available to spend time with paternal grandparents on the Thursday after school when the children are in her care, if convenient and this fits with the children''s and her own arrangements and activities on a week by week basis and the children are happy to go"

I have often let this happen but have found it increasingly difficult to maintain as this as it is one of the only midweek days that the children do not have other activities directly after school. He has now booked an activity on my Thursday which I see as an deliberate attempt to prevent me having this free time directly after school. He plans for his mother to take to the activity. He knows I wouldn''t be able to do so as my son has an evening activity that I would need to transport him to. I have also just found out that his parents have at times passed this contact time over to their son when they were unable to have the children rather than letting me know and allowing me my own time back.? I Feel dispondent that my generousity and attempts to facilitate grandparent contact have completely backfired as it appears that they and he now regard this time as theirs.

Slightly confused I thought you didnt want him to have the children on a thursday because this was the only evening that the children didnt have commitments now your saying that you son has an activity and thats why your saying no?

Have the grandparents always had contact with the children on a Thursday prior to the breakdown of the marriage?

How about you suggested that he has the children on both Thurdays evenings but returns the children on a Sunday evening on his contact weekend to allow you down time with the children.

Personally I think if he did decide to take this to court he would have a strong case for the contacting occurring whereas your reasons for saying no are actually quite weak

Perhaps I wasn''t quite clear I said was it was one of the only days where there were no after school activities, giving 3.5 hours of time to spend time and do something with children whether it be friends over for tea, a trip to the shops, homework etc. No he won''t want another day as this will not fit in with his parents.

Yes grandparents have had contact on Thursdays prior to marriage breakdown, but as we all know everyone has to face the fact that everyone''s time with children is reduced following this:(

Looking at this from the other point of view, dad can only request Thursday evenings for his parents as the kids have activities every other night, making it difficult for him to see the kids midweek at all.
A few years ago, authorities were discussing giving grandparents the right to apply for contact on their own behalf. I think they finally decided against this as it was accepted that grand parenting time could be included in a parents contact time.
I don think your ex, or the grand parents, are being unreasonable. You will still get to see your children for 9 days per fortnight, which includes quality time on alternate weekends.