A well respected, award winning social enterprise
Volunteer run - Government and charity funded
We help 50,000 people a year through divorce

01202 805020

Mon/Fri 9am-6pm       Sat/Sun 2pm-6pm
Call for FREE expert advice & service info

Ex wife refusing to let son go private operation

  • HideFromExWife
  • HideFromExWife's Avatar Posted by
  • User is blocked
  • User is blocked
More
07 Aug 12 #347835 by HideFromExWife
Topic started by HideFromExWife
I asked my ex wife if I could take my son for a private medical operation. He needs grommets in his ears again. She says no, she would rather wait another few months for the NHS. My son has already been waiting a few months.
Is there nothing I can do to ''persuade'' my ex wife to let my son go for this private operation, which I said I would pay for?
Thanks.

  • happyagain
  • happyagain's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
07 Aug 12 #347844 by happyagain
Reply from happyagain
You both have the right to make decisions concerning your son''s welfare. Does he spend any amount of time with you?

  • jslgb
  • jslgb's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
07 Aug 12 #347856 by jslgb
Reply from jslgb
It seems quite odd that your wife wouldnt agree to a private operation when your son is going to have it eventually on the NHS.,

This suggests to me there is more to the situation than you have divulged and without being more aware of what is going on there is little anyone could suggest that would offer you and leverage.

What are her reasons to refusing? How have you approached the discussion? How often do you have contact? Are you local?

  • HideFromExWife
  • HideFromExWife's Avatar Posted by
  • User is blocked
  • User is blocked
More
07 Aug 12 #347947 by HideFromExWife
Reply from HideFromExWife
They are with me three nights per week.
There is nothing happening between us, it is either her worried that I can provide a better environment for them, or jealousy that she cannot do this for them herself. I dud ask her to pay for 1/2, but said that if she didn''t, i would pay for it. Or, maybe she thinks i will go back to tge csa asking them to reduce payments because i paid for this treatment. It is only £150 insurance excess that has to be paid. I was as nice as pie asking but when she refused i did ask her what was going on because she is holding back his development. He goes into nursey in months time. I am just at a loss to understand her reasoning. This is detrimental to my son, but of course to try to resolve this would mean going to court. As a father, this just reinforces my belief that i am a weekend babysitter so she can go out on jollies with her boyfriend. yet it is me who is paying her to look after them yhe four days I don''t.

  • BoysMum
  • BoysMum's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
07 Aug 12 #347951 by BoysMum
Reply from BoysMum
It makes no sense why she would refuse your offer.

Both of my son''s had the same operation last year, one on the NHS and one went private. The NHS waiting times were not that long, and the ENT Consultant schedules the operation dates in order of priority. The only reason I chose to go private was to fit the operation around a family holiday.

I am sure if your child''s development is suffering, I am guessing possibly speech problems, the operation will have been listed as urgent.

  • Crumpled
  • Crumpled's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
07 Aug 12 #348013 by Crumpled
Reply from Crumpled
hi my daughter needed lots of eye operations...we have private health cover and had waited ages for the operation so i asked our health visitor who is also a neighbour whether we should go private as was the same surgeon etc etc....she advised us not to as my small child would be in a private hospital with adults rather than with other children .........is it possible your wife has received similar advice ?

  • BoysMum
  • BoysMum's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
07 Aug 12 #348019 by BoysMum
Reply from BoysMum
That''s a really valid point. Although my son went private, we actually went straight to the NHS Children''s ward directly after the operation for that very reason. Good point Livingintheday, I had forgotten about that :lol:

Moderators: wikivorce teamrubytuesdaydukeyhadenoughnowTetsSheziLinda SheridanForsetiMitchumWhiteRoseLostboy67WYSPECIALBubblegum11