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How do I track her down?

  • Now Gone From Wiki
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08 Aug 12 #348061 by Now Gone From Wiki
Topic started by Now Gone From Wiki
My STBX left the FMH six weeks ago. There was no reason for her to leave and she waited till I was overseas to do it. She left with our then 11 year old son (now 12).

Since leaving she has refused contact with my son. I had a C4 Order to disclose the location of the child granted and Surrey Police disclosed the location but by the time the court balliff got to her location she had left it to go somewhere else.

Surrey Police have found her again and I am discussing with the court whether I can use the same C4 order or whether I need to get a new one.

Either way I believe she will leave from this location now that she knows that the court will be informed of her location.

My question is how do I track her down when she moves again to avoid being brought to court? The Police have told me that they will not investigate it again, Social Services don''t seem the slightest bit interested nor does anyone else. I believe she has told the council that I am some form of abusive husband (I am definately not) and therefore is being protected/advised on how to avoid being pinned down. She has cut off everyone she knows, including her own mother, to enable us to hide so effectively.

I can''t even serve my Petition for divorce on her as I have no address.

All I want to do is see my son and get a proper contact schedule but she seems to be doing all the right things to tie me up in knots and make me spend lots of money trying to get to see my own son.

Any help or advice you can give will be gratefully received.

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08 Aug 12 #348130 by TBagpuss
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you may need to go to court and ask for a residence order, so that when she is found your son can return to live with you, at least until things are more settled.

HAve you tried contacting your GP, to find out whether she has registered nim with a new doctor? You may also be able to get information from the DWP who amy have an address for her if she is claiming any benefits

I think you will need to go back to court - if the Police are sayingthey won''t assist further then the court may have to order a representative from the police to attend court to explain themselves.

So far as the dvorce is concerend, you may be able to apply for an order for deemed or substituated service - do you have an e-mail address for her? does she hve acebook? A court may be willing to make an order that she can be served by e-mail or by posting on her facebook wall, if they are satisfied that she is deliberately avoiding service

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08 Aug 12 #348154 by Now Gone From Wiki
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Thanks TB,

I originally filed a C4 for Surrey Police to disclose her location along with a C100 covering Residence & Prohibited Steps (to prevent her removing him from his school) along with a C1a covering Emotional/Psychological Abuse of my son.

The Police disclosed the location and the baliff tried to serve the papers but she''d left. The court then cancelled the Directions hearing we had set for 6th August.

I got the Police involved again and they found her again. They told me that they would not investigate a third time as they were happy that my son was safe (not that he was not upset/emotionally abused I point out). Surrey Police have said they will disclose the location to the courts again under the same order.

I am pushing the court (politely) to serve the papers in case she moves again to avoid service (which I believe is the case).

I believe she has told the various agencies I have involved in this (GP, Social Services, School etc) that she has been abused. This is untrue (I know you only have my word for it). It would explain how she would be able to keep moving without any money. There are some other clues that support this hypothesis. Of course, she may be with someone else.

I believe the whole ''withholding contact'' with my son is done to punish me for telling others about her disappearing and because she cannot deal with adult emotions (something we have had problems with for a long time).

She has abandoned all of her family (including her own mum), her home, her dog and her husband. She took my son out of school for the last three weeks of term and has ''hidden him'' from me even though he and I are extremely close (or at least we were). This is not the acts of a rational person is it? However, everyone believes she is sane and rational.

My concern is what to do next if the court finds she has moved on again if the Police won''t investigate.

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08 Aug 12 #348159 by happyagain
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If she disappears again and you have no confirmation that she is safe, then is your son (and wife) a missing person?

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08 Aug 12 #348162 by u6c00
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Do you have legal advice?

In the circumstances, is it not appropriate to apply for an ex parte residence order?

You can state that you believe that the continual movement of your son and isolation of him from his friends, family and father will cause him emotional harm. In the circumstances you can ask the court to take immediate action to restore the status quo by granting you interim residence.

Hopefully then the police would be forced to return your son to you as your ex will have effectively kidnapped him. I guess at that point you would also need a PSO or non-molestation order to stop her from kidnapping him again.

Once you have your son back then I imagine your ex will be forced to engage with the court to get her side in?

I am not a legal expert by any stretch so double check my suggestions!

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08 Aug 12 #348166 by u6c00
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Just to add to my previous post, I did a little bit of reading. I found this article www.theyworkforyou.com/debates/?id=2010-01-20c.406.0

I don''t know where to look to verify this, but according to the MP in this article the three reasons for a court to make an ex parte order are:

if there is a risk of harm to the applicant or child from the respondent

if otherwise the applicant would be deterred from pursuing the case

if otherwise the respondent would simply evade the court proceedings

I guess your application could come under any of those criteria.

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08 Aug 12 #348223 by happyagain
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If she disappears again and you have no confirmation that she is safe, then is your son (and wife) a missing person?

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