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What to do now?

  • ffc1991
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08 Aug 12 #348230 by ffc1991
Topic started by ffc1991
Iv''e just been informed by the mediators that they''ve had to cancel my mediaiton session due to our mediator being ill. ANyone who has followed my case will know that my EX partner has tried to adjourn the court case due to mediation. Now surely it''s now pretty nailed on guaranteed that the court will decide to adjourn the case on Tuesday when we tuen up?

The 1st session nothing came of it at all and the 1 thing we agreed on my EX partner has failed to deliver and hasn''t spoken to me at all since mediation.

Could I refuse to attend mediation if the course suggested to adjourn the case to allow it to happen?

My EX partner is only offering 1 hour every 2 weeks in a contact centre which i''m completely unhappy with.

I''m trying to sort it out to get another appointment before court on tuesday with another mediator but this highly unlikely probably.

Really at my wits end with all this !!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • zonked
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08 Aug 12 #348259 by zonked
Reply from zonked
A couple of suggested arguements to say in court:

- The priority has to be the child. He needs to have the chance to develop a proper relationship with his dad and paternal family. He ought to have the chance to be parented by his dad in a normal family environment.

- The longer the contact center sessions continue the harder it will be for him to make the transition to something more normal.

- You agree that mediation between parents is a good thing, your still willing to attend, your also happy to try and provide mum with feedback and information to put her mind at rest BUT it''s time to move things forward and the welfare needs of your son need to take priority.

I would suggest going into court with a number of different proposals. For example..

- Perhaps contact could be moved from supervised in a center to unsupervised..with you taking son to local shops/park during the hour.

- Perhaps the amount of time could be extended gradually with the aim of giving you a full day.

- Maybe handovers could be moved from the center to directly between the parents.

- Perhaps you could look at having the sat and some time during the week?

Along side these proposals you would suggest that mediation would continue, and perhaps volunteer to provide written or verbal feedback to mum as to how the contacts were going.

You would also suggest that the matter would be returned to court in a couple of months to review how contact was going. (At this next review you would then push for overnights).

  • jslgb
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08 Aug 12 #348262 by jslgb
Reply from jslgb
I would also add that you arranged an extra mediation session prior to the court hearing which your ex refused to attend which questions your opinion of successful mediation given that Directions undertaken in the previous session are yet to be acted upon.

You''ll get there eventually, i know it seems like there have been a lot of barriers put in your way but eventually you will get what you want out of the process and you will have a meaningful relationship with your daughter.

  • ffc1991
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09 Aug 12 #348335 by ffc1991
Reply from ffc1991
Thanks for both your replies

The mediators rang me very last thing last night and have told me they managed to arrange another mediator to step in and do the session. I confirmed that I was willing to attend this but as of then they were unable to get hold of my EX. But will keep trying first thing this morning and I also texted my EX and emailed that they sorted a new session within a couple of hours of them cancelling.

However as they did notify my EX of my mediation session ebing cancelled first, just leads me to believe that sheel say she can no longer attend or not willing to use a new mediator etc. Now in the courts eyes imo this would be deemed fair enough also in my eyes I suppose also. But it would be just another clear indication that she really isn''t interested in sorting things via mediation.

I really feel like mediation is pointless and the only real reason i''m doing it is for that slight bit of chance of summit getting sorted bit it''s so minimal that I wouldn''t care if we never ever attended another session. Also I don''t want to be seen as unreasonable.

In one of the my EX partners latest solicitor letters in not direct words suggest i''m being very unreasonable by not adjourning the case and that she doesen''t know what I seek to gain by going to court at this stage when mediation is still at a very early stage and that she questions my commitment to mediation. Will the court take this view?

Now i''m now about to get on a train to a mediaiton session that''s 100''s of miles away that I don''t even know is going ahead, I take days of work, pay out for train tickets and even hotel costs if I stay over. Not to mention my loss in wages for Saturday also when I take more time of to see my Daughter.

I strongly suspect that my EX partners solicitor will now write to the court or w.e they have to do now to request the case gets adjourned once again. If she doesen''t go to this session today. Iv''e already written a letter to the court asking for the case to not be adjourned, but this was before this possible cancelled mediation session. Should I write another letter expalining what''s happened and my stance still on the situation?

I know a very long post but got so much on my mind atm.



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