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Transportation of children for fathers access

  • claireannette
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13 Aug 12 #349108 by claireannette
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Hi
This is my 1st time on here and I am looking for some advice please. I have recently seperated from my x and we have 3 children together. Access was agreed early on however after a bad visit he has refused to see them for the last week or explain to them the reasons why. Last week he went to see a Solicitor and I had a proposal from him yesterday evening. He wants me to share responsibility of transporting the children to his on weekends. Is this normal? I haven''t had any maintenance from him for 2 months and I always thought it was normal for the father to collect and return the children. Other peoples experiences would be appreciated!
Many thanks

  • rubytuesday
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13 Aug 12 #349117 by rubytuesday
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Welcome to Wikivorce.

It is the responsibility of both parents to ensure contact is facilitated.

What is the distance between you and the children''s father? If it is a long journey, then you could meet at a suitable half-way point, or each do a journey one-way; ie you drop them off, and he returns them.

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13 Aug 12 #349121 by maisymoos
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Why has there been no maintenance for two months? Have you made a CSA application?

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13 Aug 12 #349122 by WhiteRose
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Welcome to Wikivorce!

You have said you haven''t received any child maintenance for your children, is he paying the mortgage or bills at the family home in lieu of CM or is he not paying or contributing anything at all?

If he is not paying or contributing anything at all, please take a look at the CSA calculator:

www.csacalculator.dsdni.gov.uk/calc.asp

WR

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13 Aug 12 #349126 by claireannette
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I appreciate it is both parents responsibility but while he has contributed nothing towards the bills or the children I am not in a position to afford the petrol. He says he is going to pay maintenance at the end of the month but as he is self employed I doubt this will be reflective of what he actually earnt. Cash can be lost easily!
It is not a long journey, only 15 minutes and it is him that has chided to make contact difficult. Both myself and the children want them to see him

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13 Aug 12 #349127 by WhiteRose
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Mmmmmmm - I have read often about Parents whos Ex is Self Employed and the difficulties they have had in receiving the correct amount of CM.

TBH its probably not worth the battle over a 30 min round trip for collection or drop off in the grand scheme of things. Which would be better for you drop off or collect?

I guess you haven''t sorted out the financial division yet?

My advice would be to pick your battles and sometimes you have to look at things long term and whats the best interest for the kids.

I know it may seem unfair esp with the non-payment of CM, but the kids will thank you one day :)

WR

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13 Aug 12 #349128 by ffc1991
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If the journey is only 15 minutes it is very highly unlikely that you''ll be told to do half the journey. These kind of arrangements are genuinally done on long distance circumstances.

Going down the route of not driving to allow him contact is fine imo if he''s not paying towards stuff then he can''t expect you to to pay for petrol etc. But just be very careful about completely stopping contact because of no maintenance, not suggesting you would but you read alot of stuff along the lines of '''' He doesen''t pay for his child so why should he see them'''' the 2 aren''t linked.

However he''s being pretty unreasonable if you ask me I currently do 10 hours on trains in 1 day to see my daughter for 1 hour, id kill to make that to a 15 minute lol.

Wish you all the best

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