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Joint Residency

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14 Aug 12 #349374 by Mrq
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I currently have my twins (11yrs old) 6 nights over 14 and half of all holiday. But when ever I try to do anything for the kids, Here is a example.I renewed the kids passports earlier this year as both myself and stbx had holidays abroad booked. My ex went mad saying I could not get the passports as she was the resident parent. This is only one example. So I am hoping to get my time increased to 50/50 with a joint residence order as that way neither one of us will have the balance of power and the children will also feel more stable. The current arrangement has been ongoing for over 2 year now. What are my chances?

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14 Aug 12 #349378 by mumtoboys
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you have really good contact with your children - far more than most manage to acheive and you want to rock the boat by going to court ''cos your ex wants to ''control'' the passports? The reverse side, of course, is that if she isn''t controlling the passports, it''s you who''s controlling them so really, you''re both as bad as each other?! did you let your ex know you were going to re-new the passports or did you tell her after the fact?

Technically, if your ex is claiming child benefit etc. then she would be termed the resident parent. You may well succeed in gaining a full 50/50 Order if you drag it through court. And you may also end up with less time than you have now. Perhaps more importantly, any good will or respect your ex may have for you and your relationship with the children will be eroded. Is it worth it?

You are aware that you will need to attempt to mediate if you want to go to court? Is it worth suggesting this to her now so that you have the opportunity to put forward your arguments and perhaps iron out any problems before the court process makes them bigger problems? It hardly seems worth the expense, stress and heartache of court if you are sharing care and the major bone of contention between you is who orders passports....

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14 Aug 12 #349382 by Mrq
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Hi Thanks for your reply. The passport example was only one example. There already is no respect left in the relationship anyway. I cannot see how I would end up with less time as I provide a stable home for them when they are with me they both have own rooms with their own belongings, And every week when they are with my stbx I get a text off my son stating with babysitter again as the stbx takes our daughter line dancing.(this happens every week)All I am asking is for 1 more day in a fortnight

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14 Aug 12 #349384 by Mrq
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Sorry forgot to add, yes she knew I was renewing the passports but even so I got a text stating she had called the passport office and said the didnt know if I could renew them as my address was different. I knew this was was rubbish but called the passport office and they answered straight away that it was not a issue. This is just one example of her many lies.

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14 Aug 12 #349385 by mumtoboys
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OK. So she lies and plays games and wants a night out every week....what is going to court going to acheive?

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14 Aug 12 #349389 by Mrq
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So neither one has that balance of power.

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14 Aug 12 #349395 by mumtoboys
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does it really matter? if you are seeing your children as you currently do, without any problems (you haven''t mentioned any cancelling contact or problems of that nature?) what is to be acheived by an on paper ''balance of power''? will it stop her kicking off ''cos you want to order passports?

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