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Joint Residency

  • Yummy_Mummy
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16 Aug 12 #349829 by Yummy_Mummy
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Hello Mrq.

Am I right in reading that you have 6 nights out of 14?
And you have equal share of holidays as well?

If this is the case, it is more a less the same as 50:50 share and you are very lucky.

You need very good reasons to return to Court.

You are the father and you have parental responsibility just as much as their mother.

I would suggest that you really need to write up all the issues and concerns that you have and see whether it is worth pursuing.

Unless there is an Order is force, I think it is Prohibited, if it is just a short holiday visit but again any solicitor can confirm.

As far as I am aware visits abroad are fine, well technically she can''t actually stop you as you have equal rights that way as you are father but Courts will think of children first.

Just make sure you do come back in good time for when they start school.
It would be deemed reasonable that you inform her that you are taking them on holiday and when you intend to return.

I hope this has helped.

Kind Regards.

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16 Aug 12 #349842 by u6c00
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Hi Mrq. I''ve talked to you in chat so I know that your problems go well beyond just that one example.

The examples that you have given both here and in chat do not seem like good reasons to drag yourself, your ex and above all your children through the court system once again.

Honestly it is extremely unlikely that you will get what you want, though there are cases where Shared Residence Orders have been given because one parent with PR is being excluded from the child''s life, they are few and far between.

The fact is that if your ex is not obstructing contact then any argument along the lines of exclusion is not going to cut it.

Getting shared residence on a 50/50 basis is not going to change your ex''s view of the situation. She is still going to be hostile and difficult with you.

Sounds like you would be better to both attend the Separated Parent Information Program (ask CAFCASS about attending as I''m not sure whether you can refer yourself). Continuing the conflict is only going to escalate things, and in the long term it''s going to harm your children. The courts do not like cases where there is intractable disputes over contact, and by taking this to court you would be making the first steps towards that situation. You will look unreasonable unless you have a truly exceptional solicitor and a remarkably sympathetic judge.

On a side note, specifically related to passports, these belong to the children, regardless of who pays for them. Passports are often a bone of contention in these cases because the parent who pays for them tends to think of themselves as the owner. That''s absolutely not the case; they belong to the children and must be passed from parent to parent as and when required. Keep this in mind and run your ex''s ranting through your BS detector before you get worked up over it.

Keep in mind what you really need to achieve: a good life for your children. Ask yourself really seriously if going back to court is really how you will achieve this. Make sure that it isn''t an utterly futile way of trying to change your ex''s view of the situation, because I can guarantee you it won''t achieve that. Worse still, make sure you''re not trying to get back at your ex by dragging her through the courts again. It doesn''t help anyone, least of all the poor children.

The courts are full of cases where fathers'' contact has been gradually eroded over time through continued litigation. Each court appearance the resident parent argues that the children aren''t thriving with the current contact regime so the courts reduce it. It happens all the time.

Lastly, listen to mumtoboys. She gives good advice.

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