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CAFCASS report "out soon".

  • Shi Tong
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20 Aug 12 #350718 by Shi Tong
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Please, please, does anyone know:

What CAFCASS will be looking for?

What they take into "account"?

What they dislike?

Why they would invite mum and kids instead of dad and kids first?

If a child requests for one parent to go to the meeting (regardless of who is being interviewed), would that be allowed? (my eldest is asking I go to CAFCASS meeting with them and their mum tomorrow and got tearful and upset when I said I didn''t think I could).

Thank you!!

  • minxy1912
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20 Aug 12 #350720 by minxy1912
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i think they interview the children at school,if at all. they just did a phone interview with me. just be honest with them, they will ask you about the reasons you have been taken to caffcass so as long as you done nothing wrong you will be fine. As long as your not beating,abusing or neglecting the children,which i am sure your not,don''t panic,they are normal people and used to doing there job.x

  • Rumplestiltsk1n
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20 Aug 12 #350727 by Rumplestiltsk1n
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I phoned the Cafcass officer who was dealing with the wishes and feelings report and introduced myself, and explained that I would also be attending the Cafcass offices as I felt it important to show a united front with the ex and also show the kids that we were both there to support them emotionally. She agreed and was perfectly happy for me to attend. Myself and my ex had to wait in the waiting room whilst the children were interviewed and were not allowed in but the kids really benefited from seeing us both there supporting them!!

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20 Aug 12 #350729 by Shi Tong
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Hello Minxy and rmatank,

They''re interviewing them at the office, but was told that my ex was taking them to the meeting and that I would attend on Friday.

After I agreed to that, my eldest asked me about it and got very upset when I told him I most likely couldn''t go, so I decided to ring back and try to attend. I''m hoping that the officer will allow me to at least be sitting there with them while the kiddies are waiting for their mum to give her opinion on things.

As for that list- indeed- I''m doing none of those things, and certainly have done "nothing wrong", it''s my ex I''m most worried about. She seems to neglect them when in her care, but not sure what "legally" constitutes that; ie- is it "enough" that she plonks them in front of a computer playing 12 or 15 rated games/ in front of 15 rated films/ doesn''t bother with washing them, feeding them properly, doing their homework, spellings and reading, can, and will lose her temper, scream, shout, punch glass, throw things, drive away with car doors open and start fights with me in front of them... or this "fine"?

rmatank, Well, I''m hoping that the same applies to me (no idea why it wouldn''t).

Thanks again!!

  • stepper
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20 Aug 12 #350730 by stepper
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The Court ordered a wishes and feelings report on my two grandchildren. My son got a letter from CAFCASS saying they would be in touch.

In fact the interview was held at the home of the mother. My son was not informed of the date and he only found out later from the children. He telephoned CAFCASS and ask if a similar interview could be held at his home as he had a shared residence order. His request was refused.

With hindsight he should have telephoned CAFCASS on receipt of the letter to him. Unfortunately he believed them when they said they would be in touch with him shortly to arrange an appointment.

  • Shi Tong
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20 Aug 12 #350731 by Shi Tong
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Stepper, that sounds truly awful.

I really don''t understand what''s going on in this world; I''ve been looking after my kids tirelessly and extremely well for 2 years, for the most part for 5 or 6 days a week.

Why would they ask my ex to attend with the kids after they''ve actually been through the mill of their mum basically abandoning all of us, and not ask me and the boys instead?

At least I have an appointment to go to, but I am so worried about how this will all pan out.

I''m planning on seeing a solicitor to figure out "if I have a case" based on my children''s two years of pain, and if I don''t, may possibly give in to her demands, even if I feel they''re so wrong.

Thanks!

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21 Aug 12 #350905 by Shi Tong
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Just to let you know my request was refused for me to go to the meeting so that I could be there with my kiddies.

I told the CAFCASS officer that I''d been to appointments with my ex and never caused an argument (I don''t), and that I''d simply like to go because of the request from my eldest son who was sad I''d not be able to go.

She simply said "but there have been altercations in front of the children, therefore it''s not in the children''s best interests if you and your ex are together in the office".

What I just don''t understand about this is that the altercations were all based on her screaming at me, at the kids and then meting out physical abuse on me in front of them and putting them at risk. She''s now involving them in arguments by telling them stuff that "I''ve done" (things which should not concern the children).

Shame. I want to be there for my boy who was so tearful, but I''m not allowed.

I think it''s wrong.

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