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what a surprise no phone contact tonight :(

  • diggingdeep
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21 Aug 12 #351004 by diggingdeep
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well its been an ongoing thing actually...one minute phone contactis okay...(as i mean when i ring i conversate with my children) but when it is not okay is when i ring ..and routinuely fobbed of with lame excuses .so tonight i range at the specified agreed time ..but basically no one there. the point i am saying "how can a person conviently forget the children have to recieve a call " the way i see it ..as "dad" i am not asking much. i see it as this person is showing no sign of understanding.and conning there kids out of a bond with there other parent.this person usually does what they (she) feels ..and does not think thoroughly of the long term impact.

i imagine it is to try and discourage me , i just not have the foggiest .the idea was i thought her behaviour post divorce would slowly get more inline with what is acceptable .

so i have to acceept that i have lost my phonecall this evening with my kids ..no reason given.

anyway i will try again tomorow evening.

  • khan72
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21 Aug 12 #351016 by khan72
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Keep a diary of events such as this. Build a case for Parental Alienation. I don''t think it will be too long before courts begin to give fathers equality.

  • tinkerbell1606
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21 Aug 12 #351032 by tinkerbell1606
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I can sympathise with how frustrating this must be for you, do the kids have mobiles?
My ex gave our daughter a mobile, but it''s usually me reminding her to charge it because dad will be calling to speak to her!
Also, remember its school holidays, there''s a chance that they were out when you called, can you leave a message?
Children often struggle with telephone contact, not knowing what to say, fact is they love you and as they grow older it will get better, just keep letting them know you love to talk to them.
Don''t be discouraged, best of luck

  • DrDaddy
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21 Aug 12 #351035 by DrDaddy
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I don''t know your circumstances, but Khan is right. Make notes about everything, hold her to account, don''t give up.

  • diggingdeep
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22 Aug 12 #351177 by diggingdeep
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Well thankyou for your views and advice.. I will try again this evening(which is a proper phone contact night) .i am hopefully going to try and reclaim the lost phonecall(from tuesday 21st) somehow by the end of the week if possible ..but worried as she may once picking the phone up be hostile with reminding me it is not a dedicated phonecall night.

It is very hard to have dialogue with her due to her attitude ....

One of my kids does have a mobile phone but it is not one much.

Look it appears I am blowing things out of proportion ..but we agreed these times and days .but cares not when she chooses to disregard the other parent.

It is not all about "dads". Divorced mums ..could experience this type of behaviour also ..it is not gender based.

I feel I owe it to them (my children) not to give up on them .

  • MrsMathsisfun
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22 Aug 12 #351179 by MrsMathsisfun
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Do the children want you to call?

Couldn''t you request they call you rather than you call them?

How old are the children? if they are young, they might not want to talk on the phone. I know mine never did.

I understand your want to remain in contact with your children but are you sure its about the best interests of the children or is it about your ''needs''

My partner who is the nrp had to stop his ex ringing the children (10 and 7) on his contact nights because it really unsettled the children, they always ended up in tears after the calls and then wanting to go home. The phone calls from his ex were stopped. (The children can call ex whenever they want.) and the children have never asked to ring or go home again.

  • Enuff Already
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22 Aug 12 #351181 by Enuff Already
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Phone contact!!, well I don''t always get my calls, kids are too young to call me and I have an appointed time to call and on several occasions ex has decided not to allow contact (she doesn''t see it as preventing contact) as her excuses vary from "we didn''t hear the phone" (ringing till it cuts off), bathtime (4pm in the afternoon), eating tea (7.30 at night), one time work prevented me from having kids but I didn''t get to speak to them either as her logic was "well if you had them when you were supposed to you wouldn''t need to call" so I wasn''t allowed to call. It''s all about asserting control and that is what your ex is doing. Just letting you know that she still can (and will) exert her authority now and again. Do you miss enough telephone contact to make an issue of it?

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