I am separated from the father of my 9 month old little Boy. Until recently things have been fairly amicable.
My son has an older Brother to his Father. My boys Brothers Mother has never been in contact with my child as I have stated that I do not want her in contact with my child as I strongly believe that she is mentally unstable.
My Sons father has respected this but has disagreed.
Now that my sons father and I do not communicate I am worried that he will allow contact with my son and this person.
Have I got the right to state that I do not want this person in contact with my son?
In short, not unless you have some evidence that your son is at risk of harm.
Unfortunately it''s one of the things that goes with separation; when couples were together if one disapproved of a certain person they would discuss it together. Once separated any attempt to start a real dialogue over a similar issue is often perceived as controlling or aggressive.
It''s a sad fact of separation that parents often won''t know or won''t approve of certain activities or people. Unless there is a real risk of harm to the child you have to let go though.
In a case involving my step son''s bio father and his new gf she became abusive via text message. In the end the father agreed to an undertaking not to bring my step son into contact with the new gf. Bear in mind that was by consent, not court ordered.
No, you don''t have the ability to dictate what goes on during father''s contact time (unless there is evidence that the child may come to harm). You have a right to an opinion, which of course you have already expressed, and he has a right to his own opinion. Your opinion does not outrank his opinion because either a) you''re the mother or b) you have the majority of the contact.
During father''s contact time he is responsible for your child, and that means making the decisions about who the child spends time with, though of course he ought to bear your opinion in mind.
Stopping contact without damn good evidence is not a good move. It inflames the situation, will lead to significant and protracted court proceedings which may be extremely expensive for you and completely ruins any prospect of trusting each other in the future.
Don''t ever forget the most important person in this situation - the child. Your child has a right to (and will benefit from) a relationship with father and you should not try to interrupt that unless it''s the last resort or you have a genuine and provable fear that the child may come to harm.
Unless there is evidence you will also look bad when it goes to court and get off on the wrong foot with the courts immediately.
There are a lot of better options than just stopping contact. Consider mediation, go to a separated parents information programme, try and re-establish positive communication. Any of these are better than what you have suggested.
I agree with U6c00 - and would add that so far, your ex has respected your wishes, has he given you any indication that he won''t in future?
I would urge you to not stop contact, to with-hold contact until he agrees with your demands, or takes you to Court to re-establish contact could be seen as obstructive and controlling. Contact is for the benefit of your son, and it is his right to have an on-going and meaningful relationship with his father as well as you.
We are in the process of agreeing arrangements as we speak but yes my Childs Father has told me that my Child will be looked after alone with this person.
I think he is saying this to ''get at me'' if that is a correct phrase to use.
I do not believe that my Child is at any physical harm but I do not know what lengths this person will go to. I do not know the reasons why this person has caused trouble but I feel.
I have suggested to both the father of my child and this person that we discus our concerns so that I can eliminate my concerns and so that I can feel comfortable with this person to be in contact with my Son.
This person refuses to talk to me. How can I allow somebody to be alone with my child if they refuse to communicate/talk to me?