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Can STBX change schools?

  • Stumpylad70
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26 Aug 12 #352055 by Stumpylad70
Topic started by Stumpylad70
It occured to me that even with the financial settlement that my STBX has no chance whatsoever of buying a house where I am just now. And of course I intend to live in this area in the future. I like it here and its close to my son''s school.

My worry is that she will end up0 across the other side of town and will try to change my son''s school. Can she do that without my consent? Or do I need to agree to changing schools?

Again I am not trying to be awkward with her, even if she does have to move across town she has to come this way to work and could easily drop my son off on the way. But my work is near here and it would allow me easier access to my son from school rather than having to drive all over the place to get him. Plus I do like the school he is in just now. :unsure:

  • Elphie
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26 Aug 12 #352060 by Elphie
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I don''t think she can if you disagree, but I believe you would need to take action to stop her, rather than her having to proactively seek your consent. Ie, you would need to apply for an order (prohibitive steps, I believe?) to prevent her changing his school, as she doesn''t need you sig on any forms to change his school.

  • rubytuesday
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26 Aug 12 #352070 by rubytuesday
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Both parents can make unilateral decisions regarding their children as per PRR, s1 Children Act 1995 (Scotland), but that''s not to say that it is reasonable to make a major decision such as changing a child''s school without the approval/consent of the other parent.

Your "reasons" for retaining your son in his current school as stated by you are all about your own convenience, and that you like that particular school. Nothing about why a change a school would possibly be detrimental to your son. If your ex can not afford to remain in the current catchment area and can not secure a placement there once she out-with the catchment area (which is unlikely as he is already enrolled at that school), then she may have no alternative but to enrol him in a school closer to her new home.

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26 Aug 12 #352077 by Stumpylad70
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Whilst it is true that I dont want him to be moved because of my own convenience the fact is he is in a good school. It has a great record from Ofsted. The schools in other parts of the town are not so hot really.

In many ways she would be moving him for her convenience. Which amounts to the same thing. But as I stated she would be quite capable of dropping him off on the way to work. She does that currently.

I am concerned that she would move him more to inconvenience me than for her convenience. If it comes to her having to move schools there is probably little I can do about it. But I do believe that it would be detrimental to my son, he would lose the friends he has had from nursery for one thing.

At the moment this is all hypothetical. I hope it wont come to that.

  • sexysadie
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26 Aug 12 #352083 by sexysadie
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It''s not just good for children to go to local neighbourhood schools because it is convenient for their parents to drop them off. If your son is mainly living with your ex then it will probably be better for him also to go to school locally. That will allow him to develop independence as he gets older, by walking to and from school on his own, for example. He will also have local friends; if he doesn''t live locally he may well end up losing out on things that his friends are doing, dropping into each other''s houses on the way back from school, etc.

Best wishes,
Sadie

  • Yummy_Mummy
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26 Aug 12 #352090 by Yummy_Mummy
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There ought to be good and reasonable reasons for moving school.

An Order can be taken for prohibiting but reasons ought to be good again.
It is usually recommended that both Parents compromise and come to a decision in view of best for the child according to the Children''s Act.

The following might help you to consider, think or discuss.

o) Latest Ofsted Report and comparison and league tables against other schools.Why your son ought to stay or move school.

o) Your son''s age and what year is he in and going to be in.

o) All the activities he already does such as all the after school clubs.

o) How well established he is in school; you might want to talk to his teachers and head.

o) His social life and friends in school and around it.

It can be detrimental if you change schools if they have already built up a good social life because of their friends. This gives them a sense of security which provides further stability. You would not want to be moving him if he is coming up to any SATs and Tests.

You may wish to consider his wants and needs in a sensitive manner.

As grown ups, it is hard enough for us to rebuild our lives after divorce, we ought to think about children who are caught up in all this so that we can help to rebuild theirs and make then feel secure and loved.

I hope this helps.
Best Wishes.
Yummy_Mummy

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26 Aug 12 #352099 by Stumpylad70
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True, if it would be better if he mingled with local kids. He has done that since my stbx took him to her new house. I would rather the choice be given to him. Though he is only 6 years old, he is a bright as a button. And I think he would be able to make that choice.

The place he is ling now is not catchment for the school he is in, so I dont know. I just dant want him being uprooted. Its been hard enough for him the past couple of months without adding more onto him.

If my stbx can get someplace near here then fine, though to be honest I doubt that will happen. As she only works part time and has a temporary contract. There is nothing stopping her working full time, she just doesnt want to. That was fine when I was bringing in the big bucks, she doesnt have that to rely on now.

The most likely thing that will happen is she moves in with Capt Scumbag and will no doubt use the money from the house sale to pay off his mortgage. And he lives on the other side of town, though his kids are at my son''s school as they live with his ex

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