I am hoping someone can guide me on how to complete this form. There has been numerous incidents of abuse in my marriage (at one point it was several times a week). The form allows 5 spaces for incidents - I am not sure how to complete - do I pick the worse 5 and leave out the rest or insert additional pages? Even being very brief on the nature of the incident, I don''t see how I can give a clear picture in the small space they allow for details.
I was also wondering if anyone knew how to handle allegations of false abuse? My ex-husband has applied for further contact and on the form under the why mediation was not done section, he is claiming I abused him (tried to kill him etc) all of which is false - should I do anything or just let it go? I am depicted as a criminal, and just concerned that the courts might feel I should respond to such extreme accusations, but again, I really don''t know. Any guidance appreciated. I was warned by social services that he would likely accuse me of such things, but to see them black and white on a court document, blatantly lying has shocked me.
Blatant lies seem to be the norm from abusers who can''t deal with their own actions. Mediation will most likely be thrown out as not suitable. The problem is unless you have police reports and such it is nie on impossible for the courts to decide who is telling the truth. My ex is an expert at these games, he changes his story and the courts still let him get away with it.
Well personally I would list 5 occasions that you have evidence of, ie police,family or neighbours who are willing to verify the incidents. They really believe they are the injured party. In reality they have mental health problems. good luck and well done for getting out.
Not sure about form, but Interestingly my stbx was the abuser mentally & verbally to me and physically verbally & mentally to children. Believe it or not he claimed on court documents that I falsely accused him of wrongful abuse!
I didn''t, although I was guilty (?) of confessing to a counsellor about situation & they reported. I was shunned by Stbx family, him their high powered legals. I should have kept behind closed doors! . Strange how things happen & history of events change to suit perpetrator. Evidence sparse my & children''s word against him (pillar of community) etc.
But people have been supprtive.... witnesses have cm fwd, this helps. We''ll see what happens.
My sympathies but. do respond to any false accusations for your own sanity & legal purposes. Judges don''t apparently take much notice but I m not so sure.
The family courts are well used to allegations and counter allegations and without evidence from independent professionals such as the police, social workers, teachers and doctors a judge will have difficulty choosing between two versions of the same story.
C1A asks between what dates the abuse occurred so, for example, you could say a pattern of DV had occurred in-between two dates. Obviously you want to include the most important examples and any incidents where professionals where involved. You need to keep it brief, there will be opportunity for the detail later.
thanks all. evidence is hard, I never called the police - he told me if I did he would make sure social services take our child.
I do have his written admission of violence, very little detail beyond his justifying the use of ''''reasonable force'''' against me - I am not sure if this counts as evidence?
There were no witnesses, ever, he is a completely different person when anyone else is present.
I have one police report that notes him as ''''perpetrator'''' when he called the police to report me for denying access after he assulted me in public...again not detailed, but I suppose this is evidence
Social services have told me they will confirm they are working with me to support me and our child due to domestic abuse - not sure if this counts?
I have the transcripts from womens aid too and some photos of bruises he inflicted..not sure also if these count?
Its horrid - and now he debases all he did to me, by saying I abused him...lord I weigh less than 90lbs - he 3 times my weight of solid muscle - can benchpress twice his own weight -I couldn;t hurt him even if I tried! might have avoided some injuries myself if I had been able to defend myself adequately..