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My son wants to live with me

  • munuwulu
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04 Sep 12 #353750 by munuwulu
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My son currently lives with his mum, we have been separated for 9 months and i live with my partner and her two children. They all get on very well and known each other for many years, now my son wants to live with me and his mum has said no. Can my son decide where he wants to live or does this have to go legal...he is 11.

  • TBagpuss
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04 Sep 12 #353794 by TBagpuss
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your son is at an age where his wishes and feeling would potentially be a significant part of the decision making process if the matter did have to go to court.

Has he given any reasons for wanting to live wit you? Does he have siblings/step-siblings at mum''s house? How much time does he currently spend with you? how close do you & ex live - would a change of residence mean change of school or a lot of etra travel?

If ther eis no current residence order in place then you and your ex both have PR and both have a rigght to be nvolved in decision making about your son; you trying to unilateraly change his residence is likely to cause major problems, and there''s nothing to stop his mum doing the same thing next time he cahgnes his mind, not to mention if you just let your son stay with you/refused to return him home she could apply for an urgent order to restore the status quop which would likely result in less contact in the short term...

I would recommend that you approach your ex to see whether she is willign to consider mediation to discuss the issues, and als othat you try to explore whay your son wnat s to change - it may be that a cahnge to the current contact, or a plan for shared care might work for everyone.

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05 Sep 12 #353919 by munuwulu
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Hello, My son lives 2 miles away and as of today goes to a school 2 yards away from where i live, he lives with just his mum and i only see him sunday which recently he was allowed to stay sunday nite after his nan made his mum agree with it. I see him again on wednesday for 3 hours and doesnt stay. He does stay when his mum goes out with her boyfriend who is married, this can be once or twice a week depending on when he comes down from up north and i only get a a days notice.
There is no legal residence in place as i cannot afford this due to the debts my wife has run up.
My ex wife will not let him stay as i pay £200 maintenance which is what she had worked out i have to pay and doesnt want to lose that, he is finding hard to stay there and wants to have the freedom to see me and stay with me more often, i said to him that wont happen as your mum doesnt want him to stay with me. Not sure how this will get sorted without costing a lot of money..

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