Weekend Away

I hardly ever ask for ''his'' time. Like I said twice this year, once for a birthday party and the other time for a family holiday. Both times time in lieu was offered and given.

I also am completely flexible over stuff like him watching swimming or tennis lessons during ''my'' time and if he has gone away for the weekend for example or it''s his birthday I have of course offered extra time so he doesn''t have to rush back for a handover. I have swapped weekends too btw.

Problem is with the refusing to be flexible approach for future is it doesn''t solve it so she can go on holiday with us!

I wouldn''t worry about being recorded. Recordings can be doctored or taken out of context if the whole conversation isn''t recorded and unless there is serious wrong doing it''s unlikely a recording will be deemed admissible as evidence. The courts tend to take a very dim view of a parent recording the other to score points.

The important thing is that changes to contact arrangements need to be agreed. When parents start making unilateral decisions they can feel as though they are locked in a power struggle. Just because you are usually in charge of managing your daughter''s routine you can''t assume you have sole control of deciding when your daughter sees your ex.

In 15 years time it''s unlikely a missed weekend away will have had a great deal of impact on your daughter, but she will have learned by her parent''s example how to communicate. If communication between parents is distorted because of a power struggle children won''t be able to communicate well later and have dysfunctional adulthood relationships.

My partner is in a similar ''''power struggle'''' over changing the weekend pattern. He has been in the same pattern for 3 years, next year it fall very badly for a lot of different family events. He has given his ex 6 months notice. Explained and practically begged to change but she has said No and there is nothing he cant do about it.

He will have to decide whether he misses out of contact or misses family events.