Weekend Away

I agree with your point about not agreeing things in other parents time. However, this time we were invited to join family on a holiday they had booked, which I thought would be fun. It was a one off...

He has just had our daughter for 3.5 weeks in the summer holidays and only returned her on Tuesday.

I know it is frustrating but sometimes you just have to accept its his contact time and there is nothing you can do, its just not worth the agro or upset if he refuses to swap. I must admit if I am asked to go anywhere I immediately check if its my weekend and simple have to say no if its not.

maisymoos wrote:

I know it is frustrating but sometimes you just have to accept its his contact time and there is nothing you can do, its just not worth the agro or upset if he refuses to swap. I must admit if I am asked to go anywhere I immediately check if its my weekend and simple have to say no if its not.

I agree with Maisy - it''s shame that your daughter will miss out on an enjoyable break with your family (you could still go?) but if your ex won''t agree to a swap then there is nothing you can do, as it''s prerogative to agree or not agree.

Perhaps you could make sure your family have a list (perhaps use an online calendar that you can all use_ of your weekends with your daughter so that in future, if they wish to arrange something that they would like you and your daughter to attend, they have notice in advance of whether or not you will be able to make a certain date (and perhaps plan accordingly)?

I''ve dug the residence order out and the wording is actually half the school holidays and contact as agreed by the parties.

I am having a think about what to do next, thanks for your advice.

I actually think the weekend away is in the best interests of my daughter and his plans could be changed. However I don''t know if I can be doing with the hassle of arguing any further over it.

I appreciate what you say about families taking schedules of contact into account but sometimes (when it''s things like Grandparents 70th birthdays - like earlier this year) or whatever a bit of common sense and flexibility should come into call. Esp when I am so flexible back!

I think you should be careful of just going ahead and just going on the holiday. It may be kidna in your daughters best interests now. But is the potential fall out with your ex in her best interests.

Like you say the order as agreed by others. You''ve already agreed to her having this weekend with her father so the order is in his favor.

I''d just be careful but ofcourse it''s your decision.

I''m sure she would love to go away to center parcs but i''m sure sheel want to see her Daddy just as much? So I wouldn''t go as far as saying it''s detrimental to her in any way.

I would think that by ignoring the fact it''s your ex''s weekend with his daughter and jut going on the holiday anyway would cause you problems and make you appear to be obstructive and unreasonable.

Its a weekend break that you haven''t planned for, or paid for, its simply a nice gesture from your family to invite you. You have asked your ex to swap; he has said no, therefore you and your daughter can''t go.

Apologies, I think my last post might have come across as a bit harsh - that wasn''t my intention

What I was trying to say is that had this been a holiday that had been in the pipeline for a long time and one you had paid for, then the advice given might be different to the current situation which is a short weekend break with your family, and one where you won''t loose out financially.

Perhaps in future, you might rethink how flexible you are prepared to be, flexibility works both ways, otherwise when it one person who is compromising the whole time, and the other is just taking, that''s not compromise