Being unreasonable to not let child miss school?

A school would allow 1 day with a holiday form completed and it would have to be a lot longer unauthorised absence before it would result in a fine.

Any school is happy as long as a childs attendance doesnt fall below 98% (National average) so 1 day wont mean a fine as long as attendance prior to this is 100%.

If the child has a history of non attendance then unauthorised absence would be fined.

If the school agrees to the holiday then if contact is refused I think its being unreasonable.

Mathsisfun wrote:

A school would allow 1 day with a holiday form completed

No, actually, many schools have a policy nowadays of refusing any holiday request during term time unless there are special circumstances (eg, wedding of immediate family). There is a good chance it will be refused, and then the absence will go down as unauthorised. You are right, it is unlikely to become a fine for one day, however it would be wrong for either parent to go against the school rules, including the NPR if permission is denied.

Also, I often read on her how the children''s wishes should be listened to, their best interests put first. Well, since my first post in this thread I have read some of Jenna''s other posts referring to her daughter suffering from anxiety and relying heavily on her routine. Some young children need routine to feel secure, especially when other areas of life are becoming unpredictable. Jenna has said that her daughter doesn''t want to miss school, the break in her routine would be upsetting to her and that she wants her attendance certificate (as a teacher, I have seen how much these certificates mean to certain kids - you''d be surprised) so I think it is a bit unfair to accuse Jenna of simply wanting to limit her ex''s contact, there is no basis for this in her post and her reasons for not wanting her child to miss school are entirely valid and in keeping with her daughter''s wishes.

Mathsisfun wrote:

if contact is refused

Jenna hasn''t refused contact, she has suggested a shorter weekend break, what she is objecting to is the possibility of her daughter missing school during a very important term, something the child herself doesn''t want to do.

As far as I am aware this term started approximately a week and a half ago...so as the little one has just started school i think it is a bit early to be asking the school for days off.
I think from a psychological point of view it is more important for a child to settle into the school routine and to be with their peer group and to feel part of that group especially as she has just started school it is so important to build friendships.

Also if this day is allowed how often is this going to happen .....

School children get enough holidays to be able to fit stuff in around those.I know it can be expensive for holidays and sometimes taking a child out of school is the only way they will get a holidaybut i dont think that this is the reason (but of course I could be wrong) in this case.

By the way I am the mother of three children so been there got the t shirt

I have been a school teacher for 15 years and yes they have tightened up on holidays and many schools have a policy regarding holiday for a week or so and wont agree to longer period of time but this is one day. Dad has as much right aa mum to request a day from the school.


Why does dad want an extra day? Is he intending to travel far for the weekend? Could he continue his plans without the extra day?

If the school says no then the day would be unathorised and at that point it would be acceptable for Jenna to say no.

Precisely, he''s just had the entire summer holidays in which he could have taken her away bu chose not to. Despite claiming at mediation that he''d happily have her for all school holidays, but would have to settle for half, he actually had her for one extra day.no he doesn''t have to travel far, last time he had contact he travelled a significantly further distance and back in one day and returned her to me at 4pm. Yes, mathisfun, he does have equal rights to request a day - the point is that I wouldn''t because it isn''t in our daughters best interests. We are away this weekend and are booked to stay until tomorrow but we won''t, because of school. In my opinion, it is not right to make a decision on the child''s behalf that the other parent, and indeed the child, don''t agree with. I don''t make decisions unilaterally, so why should he have the right to?

Well it seems that the problem here Jenna is that you do want to make decisions unilaterally. You have suggested that, even if the school agrees and your ex still wants to, you may say no because you can and you will overrule your ex''s request which sort of goes against what you have just said about making unilateral decisions.
As a teacher and a parent, I have very strong views on taking holiday in term time. My view is that it shouldn''t happen and I know that many on here agree with that. However, my husband and I have had to stand by on several occasions whilst his ex wife has taken the kids out of school for various reasons over the past year with which we strongly disagreed. These included a whole day off to watch the olympic flame go past, another to see mum ''graduate'' from a college course and another because the dog was put down. The main reason we did nothing was because she has the right to do this to her children if she sees fit; if my husband disagrees then who is to say she is wrong and he is right if the schools have authorised this? However we have also learned that to pick fights over this only escalates matters. And, in spite of my own views on this, the children''s education hasn''t suffered in any noticeable way.