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Customary practice

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07 Sep 12 #354459 by Confuzzled
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I have a rolling court order for contact issued nearly 4 years ago. This has been working well and although restricting at times avoids higher levels of conflict. My ex drew up a rota (and he sends a new one each year) for child contact based on the court order and we have been following that. It has recently come to my attention that he is actually getting four more nights a year than he should as he is booking their holidays straight after usual contact. I feel he has been really sneaky in how he has gone about this but since he has gotten away with it for the last 3 years does this now become customary practice and how can I reasonably revoke those days.

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07 Sep 12 #354460 by pixy
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Why is 4 nights out of 365 a problem?

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07 Sep 12 #354465 by Enuff Already
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Precisely my thoughts too. if, by your own admission, it''s working well, why rock the boat.

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07 Sep 12 #354466 by DrDaddy
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Since you haven''t noticed for three years, I''d let it go.

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07 Sep 12 #354468 by Confuzzled
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Because it isn''t in the court order and I didn''t agree. I feel he has bullied me into yet another corner.

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07 Sep 12 #354469 by u6c00
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Confuzzled wrote:

how can I reasonably revoke those days.


You can''t reasonably revoke those nights based on the fact that it is more than the court order

If your children are benefiting from contact then why would you want to diminish it? To do so is not in the children''s best interests and will certainly restart the conflict, making life worse for absolutely everyone.

Please try to remember that contact is the right of the children, it is not something that belongs to you to be generous or stingy with.

With a few exceptions, a court order for contact is supposed to be a minimum amount of contact, not a maximum.

Just leave it alone, it really is not worth causing conflict over 4 extra days a year. It serves no one and harms everyone.

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07 Sep 12 #354470 by ffc1991
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I''m sorry but 4 days really is nothing to kick up a fuss about especially if it''s working well like you said. As U6 said court orders are there usually for the Absolute minimum that your ex is guaranteed and quite often court orders have things such as and additional contact to be agreed bla bla bla.

It comes across as that your going to revoke the days to simply get back at him nothing else. It won''t benefit anybody at all if you do IMO.

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