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Judge taking action at Directions

  • Mark100
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09 Sep 12 #354775 by Mark100
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Hi All

The original contact order for my children states under the childrens feelings and wishes section that my son loves to play football and likes to do this with his dad and this has been reflected in the order, i.e. I have contact on Thursday night when he has football.

Now his football has changed to a Tuesday but exhas told my son she will be doing it from now on. My son has told me and her that he wants to continue being taken by me.

I have re-applied to court for a number of things but at Directions will a Judge be able to take the action to change the days so I have contact to keep him in his routine for football?

The minutes of my original order also say that I currently don''t see the children on a Sunday but when he starts playing on a Sunday ex agrees I can. Now he''s playing on a Sunday she says she is doing it and says he''s quite happy with that. He actually wants to be taken by me.

As a minimum do you think these simple things will be sorted at a Directions Hearing or will we have to wait for full CAFCASS report, etc.

Thank you, Mark

  • Yummy_Mummy
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09 Sep 12 #354798 by Yummy_Mummy
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I am under the impression that it may well be sorted but it depends how acrimonious disputes are likely to be.

If both parents don''t compromise then Judge could just decide. I don''t know as you state there are other matters as well in which case it would be up to the Judge who could then ask for Cafcass to be involved.
For minor points such as these it is most unlikely that Cafcass will get involved as it is very time-consuming and would cost money. I guess it depends on a list of complaints and how serious they are.

I think the Judge may not care who is taking him to football as long as he gets to go and he is happy and safe. Courts would want both of you to compromise and work together in bringing up your children.

Would mediation not have worked?

  • zonked
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09 Sep 12 #354850 by zonked
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I think it''s impossible to say. My feeling is that at a Directions the judge is unlikely to make a contested order, but might apply gentle pressure on parties to agree an order.

  • Mark100
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10 Sep 12 #354893 by Mark100
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Hi

Mum has refused to go to mediation. Having been through the court process once I know we need to talk at some point and I have lots of evidence showing I am trying. It seems odd that the children and me should receive the punishment for mum regusing to talk.

There are more serious concerns but I thought that they may make some quick steps to try and decrease some of the anxiety my children are feeling quickly.

An organisation called CAMHS has been invited to attend a meeting with their current school, headmaster, etc.

I am hoping CAFCASS will start to see how serious this is and look into it thoroughly and advise the court.

Thank you.

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10 Sep 12 #354894 by Mark100
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I suppose the other point is that to us adults these things may be minor but believe me, football and school have been the two most stable and consistent things for these children over the last year and to now unsettle those areas will cause more distress.

(When we have a boy who has started deliberately soiling himself over the last few months and now says he is scared at bed time, amongst a raft of other things I want to do all I can to help and if giving him the football routine he''s been used to for the last 4 years is what he wants and it''s possible, why can''t he have it?)

Thanks all, Mark

  • Chained
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10 Sep 12 #354933 by Chained
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Why don''t you both go and attend your son''s football training sessions?

  • maisymoos
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10 Sep 12 #354936 by maisymoos
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Chained has a point my ex turns up at football training and matches when my son is in my care. To be honest though I do feel this can put the children in an awkward situation and make them feel uncomfortable, having to see their parents standing at opposite ends of the respect line. My son does not care who takes him as long as he doesn''t miss it. I also like to see my son play football but would not attend training or matches in my ex''s time as feel it makes things hard for the children for the reason given above.

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