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Judge taking action at Directions

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10 Sep 12 #354941 by Chained
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That''s my point, too.

A lot of parents see it as an ''either or'' situation, maybe if we see it as an ''and and'', who drives the child to football does not matter anymore.

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10 Sep 12 #354949 by Mark100
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Hi

I agree with you that we should both be able to go but I also agree with the point that it does not look good and puts my children on edge as there is clear hatred there.

On Sunday as I played with my daughter ex actually stood mocking the way I speak and laughing at me.
When I suggested swapping days as I want to watch him play anyway, ex said ''I kinow you''ll watch but only because I can''t stop you''.
When my son was given his new kit and was showing it to me mum took it from him and said ''we need this''. It''s his and he didn''t even get to enjoy being given that.
Mum also refused to stand with the other parents because they all know me and she said ''they make me sick''.

My son also asks me to promise I''ll still take him. As you know I can''t but I can promise I''ll be there so I do.

Ex dosn''t actually like football and has told him he plays too much...

I think asking court to stick with me doing his football as that''s he wants is fair for him...

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10 Sep 12 #354951 by Enuff Already
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I have long given up the fight over these things, the squabbling was effecting my kids so much and they felt constantly torn, I decided to ask the ex what she was prepared to give me and settled for that. (It could have been a lot worse) I don''t have anywhere near what I wanted or what I felt the kids deserved, but now it''s about quality. I don''t get invited to presentations or performances etc but she is always there if the presentations or performances fall in my time (which is very rarely). I don''t go to see my daughters recitals, or my son''s footie matches as the fallout is just not worth it. Not dismissing the concerns Mark100 has (I dont have those concerns) and I am not saying he should stop striving for his kids. My point was my kids felt in the middle and I had to do something to take them out of the middle and that was at great cost to the kids and me but they are less traumatised now as things have settled somewhat and I have to be more accepting of her demands (although I am getting less tolerant as they still keep coming years down the line).

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10 Sep 12 #354953 by Chained
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Yeah, I get the picture now, unfortunately.

Well, if she feels so strongly about this, maybe another trip to court will help her understand it takes two to have a child and the same two to bring the child up. I don''t know.

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10 Sep 12 #354957 by Mark100
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Enuff Already - I feel for you and I have been at this point many times. I have considered your approach and nearly gone down the same road a lot. The conflict and being in the middle IS damaging my kids but due to the other concerns I have I feel I need to stick up for them. If I walk away or give up I think they will be in an even worse position. I do regularly discuss this with family (including on my ex''s side) and friends who know me and my kids. The advice I get is that I am doing the right thing for the kids now but they can all see it''s not great for my health so they would understand if I did less!

As I have said before it is a ''catch 22''.

In hindsight the court process was made things much worse...I think.

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10 Sep 12 #354959 by Mark100
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Thank you Chained as well. I guess you all sense my frustration. I just hope and pray the Judge takes some fast action and it really is around the kids this time.

I just thought switching the days for football contact taking into account all of this was already in the current order would be a no brainer but I''m not so confident now.

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10 Sep 12 #354985 by Chained
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Mark,

what is a no brainer for reasonable people might be a brain-breaking puzzle for the ones on ''the dark side''... ;-)

I am certain that any Judge would see that you are solely interested in your son and that your ex is simply playing silly games to get to you.

Besides, it is a Universal Truth that fathers and sons HAVE to go to football training together!! :-)If everything else fails you can stick to that argument! ;-)

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