I agree with you that we should both be able to go but I also agree with the point that it does not look good and puts my children on edge as there is clear hatred there.
On Sunday as I played with my daughter ex actually stood mocking the way I speak and laughing at me.
When I suggested swapping days as I want to watch him play anyway, ex said ''I kinow you''ll watch but only because I can''t stop you''.
When my son was given his new kit and was showing it to me mum took it from him and said ''we need this''. It''s his and he didn''t even get to enjoy being given that.
Mum also refused to stand with the other parents because they all know me and she said ''they make me sick''.
My son also asks me to promise I''ll still take him. As you know I can''t but I can promise I''ll be there so I do.
Ex dosn''t actually like football and has told him he plays too much...
I think asking court to stick with me doing his football as that''s he wants is fair for him...
I have long given up the fight over these things, the squabbling was effecting my kids so much and they felt constantly torn, I decided to ask the ex what she was prepared to give me and settled for that. (It could have been a lot worse) I don''t have anywhere near what I wanted or what I felt the kids deserved, but now it''s about quality. I don''t get invited to presentations or performances etc but she is always there if the presentations or performances fall in my time (which is very rarely). I don''t go to see my daughters recitals, or my son''s footie matches as the fallout is just not worth it. Not dismissing the concerns Mark100 has (I dont have those concerns) and I am not saying he should stop striving for his kids. My point was my kids felt in the middle and I had to do something to take them out of the middle and that was at great cost to the kids and me but they are less traumatised now as things have settled somewhat and I have to be more accepting of her demands (although I am getting less tolerant as they still keep coming years down the line).
Enuff Already - I feel for you and I have been at this point many times. I have considered your approach and nearly gone down the same road a lot. The conflict and being in the middle IS damaging my kids but due to the other concerns I have I feel I need to stick up for them. If I walk away or give up I think they will be in an even worse position. I do regularly discuss this with family (including on my ex''s side) and friends who know me and my kids. The advice I get is that I am doing the right thing for the kids now but they can all see it''s not great for my health so they would understand if I did less!
As I have said before it is a ''catch 22''.
In hindsight the court process was made things much worse...I think.