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Unhappy Son

  • 2littleboys
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10 Sep 12 #354997 by 2littleboys
Topic started by 2littleboys
my 6 year old son has the following contact with my ex husband after going to a child welfare hearing

Wed night 2 hours after school
Friday night 3 hours after school
and then overnight contact on the first 3 saturdays of the month and the last Saturday in the month he stays at home.

However son is very unhappy at staying with his dad as he says all his dad does is talk about how I am not looking after him properly, so son came home last night very upset and said his dads house is very sad and he doesnt want to stay next weekend.

Where do I stand with regards to this, how bound am I by the court order if it gets to a stage that my son does not want to go?

  • ozzywiz
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10 Sep 12 #355002 by ozzywiz
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It is a very difficult situation and heartbreaking to make the right decision, ive been in this position a few times with children of various ages and one of them is 6 years old also.

In regards to the contact order, you really need to do your best to adhere to it as it would of been agreed as being in the childs best interest.

If your child refused to go to school, would you still send him ? and would you go in school and discuss the issues he is having . . do you have any communication with your ex were you could discuss him having adult conversations with your son.

Is the court fully over or is it ongoing ? .

My advise is too try to encourage and keep to the contact and explain to him he has mum time and dad time and school time, although you cant physically force him. .

  • rubytuesday
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10 Sep 12 #355003 by rubytuesday
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Im sorry to hear that your son is unhappy.

Have you considered family mediation as a way of discussing and hopefully resolving the issues that are making your son unhappy?

If the court order states defined contact times, then you do need to make your son available for contact at those times, otherwise you will be in breach and your ex could seek enforcement of the order.

I think, in the first instance, you should make your ex aware of how unhappy your son is.

  • Mark100
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10 Sep 12 #355009 by Mark100
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Hi - It''s really sad.
If there is any chance of talking with your ex do it. Try to talk to his family if he won''t. Assure him you dn''t want to stop the contact and even say it would lovely if he could see his child more and for longer in the future but you both have to know the child is happy to do that. Say it''s something you should both be working towards. That may open a door for your ex to be open or more trusting with you.

Just some thoughts......

  • 2littleboys
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10 Sep 12 #355010 by 2littleboys
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No court is finished, I do not have any contact with my ex, I have had to involve the police several times due to the threatening text and phone calls I received as the court procedure didnt "go his way"

So all contact has to be through a third party now.

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10 Sep 12 #355013 by Mark100
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You could try giving a little extra time to the minimum order if that is what has made your ex upset (less time with his kid). If you do that for a while he may be less bitter and you could then maybe drop him a letter to say similar to what I said above and you want them to have more time together but could you talk through thse concerns and help each other and your kid better...

If your kid ''has'' to go there as per the current order a few extra hours won''t make things worse but over the longer term could buy that trust back with your ex.

My situation is similar - we don''t speak but I drop her letters and texts about school things, get the kids to amke things for mum, etc.
I hope one day it will pay off.

  • DrDaddy
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10 Sep 12 #355025 by DrDaddy
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Do you think that your ex is generally a good parent? Is this somethng that has arisen from the bitterness of your court battle?

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