NRP disrupting child at school

If there is a dispute that can''t be resolved in any other way, either party can apply for a court order to set out contact and residence arrangements. It is not pleasant, but then neither is putting up with this kind of behaviour.

Jenna,

An alternative to obtaining a court-ordered Contact Order is a Consent Order. This would mean you and your ex coming to some sort of agreement over contact, and having it set out in a Consent Order. It means that you can avoid a lengthy court process and the stress and expense that goes with it but have an agreement with defined contact times set out in a court order.

Can you set out proposals that include perhaps a specific day for him to collect her from school during the week, reiterating (yet) again the importance of routine and stability for your daughter and explaining that ad-hoc contact upsets her as her routine is important to her?

Him telling your daughter that he will come and take her without your knowledge must be quite worrying for her, and you - to me it sounds almost threatening and shows no consideration for the importance routine has for your daughter.

Even with a Contact Order, you can not enforce his defined contact, only make your daughter available for contact at those stated times/days. It seems to me, from what you have written over the last couple of years that it''s possible he wouldn''t respect the defined contact periods - perhaps I am wrong.

It is very worrying for her, yes. I pretty much know he''s bluffing but can''t tell her that as I don''t know for sure and also she then calls him a liar. I don''t think he''d agree to a consent order as he pretends to people that he has more contact than he does, despite it being available he chooses to only have alternate weekends.

Would a consent or a contact order mean that the ex cannot collect the daughter from school, other than at the times stated? If so, it would be worth Jenna seeking one of these orders, however if despite having a defined contact order the ex''s parental responsibility means he can still collect the daughter from school (and therefore still make these threats) then they aren''t worth having for this particular problem.

What order would mean that the school can refuse to allow the father to collect the children, other than at specific, agreed times? A residence order?

Or alternatively.You could just reassure the 4 year old child that mummy or whoever is picking the kid up for mummy will be there every day to collect her.Even if daddy thinks he may be able to come.I will be there as well just in case he can''t make it. So not to worry.
Jesus wept are any of you actually parents that you can''t stop a 4 year old from worrying or deflect a minor wind up from an ex without turning a drama into a crisis.
It ain''t that hard to be on a higher intellectual and emotional level than a 4 year old.Is it?
Or that might be a bit too much like common sense for you lot round here with your court orders.
All the best
HRH xx

A little harsh, Pete

Pete is right.
Adults need to help children overcome difficulties and feel secure. After all it is us that are supposed to be developed in all levels and they are just following our footsteps.

The problem is that if an adult/parent cannot think like this themselves, any attempt to reason falls in deaf ears. This is why some posters in this thread are trying alternative methods and suggestions to make the OP realise that any issue can be solved and does not need to be turned into a huge problem that might negatively affect the child''s relationship with her father.

We should not forget that this is the same child that at 5 years of age is said to not want to go on holiday with her father because she will miss one day at school and insists that her attendance certificate is 100% by the end of the year, she doesn''t want different rules to apply to her father than to her mother, does not like contact with her father, gets upset when he turns up at her first day at school without her knowing and does not like the fact that her father picks her up from school without mum knowing about it. She is 5, right?

Pete is not harsh, he just despairs...