Ex emailed me yesterday stating that she is too ill to facilitate contact. She proposed that her boyfriend could bring my son to me this afternoon after he finishes work.
Because of a complex set of circumstances I am unable to provide a supervisor if the handover takes place after 2.00 pm. I duly informed the ex that if that was the only way for me to have contact then it would have to do but the handover would need to take place after 7.00 pm.
There was then a series of steadily more aggressive emails demanding information about supervision. I replied to them each providing the information that was appropriate to give her to allay her ''concerns over whether supervision is occurring'' (It is by the way). She has now demanded certain letters from third parties related to the supervision. There are no Directions on this and I''ve answered all her questions so I conclude that she can whistle for it unless the court tells me to provide it.
It was agreed that the handover would take place after 7.00 pm.
I just received a text message from the boyfriend at 7.01 pm which said he is just leaving her town (90 minute drive away).
Now he is going to arrive at about 8.30 pm having slept all the way in the car and be impossible to settle in to bed. On top of that having just woken up he''s going to be grouchy and there''s little possibility of me actually spending any time with him at all this evening. He''ll be in a bad mood all of tomorrow too having had a disturbed night tonight.
On top of that she sent an email stating that her boyfriend is on call on Sunday (he''s an electrician) and she may need to vary the collection time on Sunday.
Right stay calm, kids can be fine with interrupted sleep once in a while so unless he is acting up try not to stress about it. If they struggle to get back to sleep just have some relaxed one to one time. Sunday is a whie away set a time after which it will be ok to collect him so you get your full time.
Most of all relax as kids pick up on tension and this will be used against you.
Is the town that is a 90 minutes journey away, the one to which you believe she has moved to? In which case, would the text saying the ex''s bf is leaving now, along with their arrival time be more evidence for you that they have moved? Not much of a sweetener I know, but at least something to use to your advantage.
I expect, looking at the times of the posts, that your lo is with you now, but I would agree with db''s original advice to make the most of your contact time with your lo - don''t stress about sticking to a specific bed time when his day time routine has already been messed around. Have some quiet cuddle time with a favourite DVD (the kids fav, not yours ) and then follow the kids lead for starting the bedtime routine, even if it seems ridiculously late. I''ve had to do this myself when my lo has fallen asleep for a nap late. A relaxed evening and late to bed often sets them up better for the night that a long battle. And if possible, and hour and a half between waking from the nap and going back to sleep is a good length between sleeps, apparently it fits in with our natural cycles.
Hope you are still able to enjoy this weekends contact xx