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  • AwaitingDivorce
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16 Sep 12 #356247 by AwaitingDivorce
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I have three children with my wife who is divorcing me. She now wants me to have them all 3 times a week, but i work mon-fri 9-5. She expects me to have them on a wed eve and a fri/sat night. This would mean I have no time to myself - am I in my right to ask for other days?

  • Chained
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16 Sep 12 #356251 by Chained
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When you have three children you have no time for yourself in the first place. Now you got them and it''s too late. This ship has sailed.

So, what you are saying is that it is OK for her to never have time for herself but you are entitled to time for yourself by divine wright? Jeebus!

One thing you are right about is that the arrangement she is proposing is a bit off. If she wants 50/50 contact, then you should alternate weeks, not days inside the week. And definitely not all the weekends with one parent. This is the most efficient pattern and less disruptive for the children. This way you get your time for yourself, too. :P

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17 Sep 12 #356267 by ffc1991
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I''ll agree with Chained i''m sure your post wasn''t meant to come across in that way. but 99% of the fathers on here would cut off there right arm to have what your being offered?

I''d hazard a guess that your partner is offering this to have a social life herself and tbf what she''s offering is a bit off especially with your working arrangements.

What contact have you proposed and what do you want?

At the end of the day she can''t corce you to have the children but i''d tread carefully if you feel she might go the opposite way and cut it dramatically.

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17 Sep 12 #356268 by WYSPECIAL
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AwaitingDivorce wrote:

I have three children with my wife who is divorcing me. She now wants me to have them all 3 times a week, but i work mon-fri 9-5. She expects me to have them on a wed eve and a fri/sat night. This would mean I have no time to myself - am I in my right to ask for other days?


What are her work arrangements and what are the plans for child maintenance, tax credits etc?

At the end of the day you will both want qualitity time with the children and time to yourselves as well.

Every weekend seems unusual though but like others say a lot of fathers would give their right arms for this.

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17 Sep 12 #356270 by AwaitingDivorce
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my wife doesn''t work so she has the children with her at all other times except when they are in school. Ive paid her money each week since the day she walked out on me, she gets her provate rented house paid for and get child credits etc

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17 Sep 12 #356273 by ffc1991
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Well Like i said she can''t force you with contact and if you don''t want every weekend which is fair enough I suppose then tell her that. Suggest altenate weekends and 1 midweek overnight stay?

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17 Sep 12 #356276 by maisymoos
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You need to find a contact arrangement that works for everyone but most importantly the children. Perhaps you could go back with a proposal?

e.g. after school every other Friday to Sunday night or alteratively Monday school drop off, plus every Wednesday evening and return at bedtime or overnight stay if this will work from everyones perspective.

You also need to think about holidays (this will inevitably be dependent on your work leave) perhaps two weeks in the summer one at Christmas and one at Easter?

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