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  • Fiona
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25 Sep 12 #357823 by Fiona
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The Statement of Arrangements sets out the arrangements at the time of divorce so the court knows provision has been made for them. It isn''t binding. Arrangements for children tend to change overtime as they reach different stages and as parents jobs, relationships etc change. Agreements made at mediation aren''t legally binding although apparently parents are more satisfied and more likely to stick with arrangements they have agreed than when arrangements are imposed by a judge.

A court order is binding but the courts won''t see forcing a parent to care for a child against the wishes of the parent as being in the interests of the child. However, some parents manage to agree any changes between themselves after the order is in place for 6 months or if there is no agreement court orders can be varied by applying to the court.

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25 Sep 12 #357836 by khan72
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OMG. Take it! Weekends are brilliant. :)I know if i were given the chance of seeing my girl sleep or going out clubbing, I would stay in. I dont go out anyway :D
If you need a "social life", you can always take kids with you during the day or get a baby sitter at night.

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30 Sep 12 #358653 by AwaitingDivorce
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Start mediation tomoz - really unsure what to do. My wife(ex) currently goes out on the p 4 times a week - it means i get the kids, but i feel im being taken for a mug

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30 Sep 12 #358657 by Sjw19850141
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I get what your saying but I also know loads of guys who would tear off their right arm for a chance like that so it''s just a case of working out the kinks, perhaps you could ask for every other weekend? That way you both get a "social life" wish I remembered what that looked like on my own lol, honestly these days I''d rather go to something with the wee man than go clubbing, no energy left lol x good luck x

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30 Sep 12 #358659 by redwine47
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This shouldn''t be wot ur wife''s doin in her time...forget bout that.

It''s about how much & when you wish to see your children. Being a parent is a privilege not to be taken lightly, these children are depending on you, their security..

Please try to come to a compromise.. Every other weekend is fair & probably during the week even if only over for tea this will fill the long gap of every other weekend.

Good luck & remember it''s about them.

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30 Sep 12 #358671 by Elphie
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I agree with redline and khan.

Don''t worry about what your wife is doing in her spare time. Two reasons: firstly, if you want to see your kids as much as possible, then to refuse every weekend JUST because it means your stbx gets to go out more, then you are basically cutting, your nose off to spit your face. Secondly, put your kids needs first: if what you say is true and your stbx is getting p 3 or 4 nights a week then it is in their best interests to be with you,
It their needs first rather than worrying you are being taken for a mug.

And as Kahn said, having your children living with you does mean you can''t go out. You can still socialise during the day by going to child friendly places. And in the evening you just need a baby sitter. If you have something on during the day one weekend, ask grandparents or aunts / uncles to have them for the day. Just because they are having contact with you, doesn''t mean you have to spend 100% of the time with them entertaining them, especially when you are having such regular, frequent contact.

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30 Sep 12 #358682 by CaringParent
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Take all weekends
It is God send
DO NOT LOOSE the opportunity

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