I have three kids, now 9 12 and 15 I have them From Monday night to Wednesday Morning school dropbox every week, every other weekend fri 6pm to sun 6.30pm and half the school holidays.
The bottom line is what''s best for the kids and what makes them happy My experience is that kids have a really tough time through divorce regardless of what people say about there resilience. I think kids tend not to show their concerns on the surface and because of this people think they''re just fine.
My ex moved her bloke the had the affair with very quickly after I had left and to be honest I think the kids felt alienated in their own home and still do almost 3 years on. Yeah, me too felt like just walking away from it all because it was so much hassle and heart ache, But I needed to be there for the kids as I think they already felt they been abandoned by their mother as I think they felt she was putting her love life before them.
I''m not saying it''s easy even now three years on there is lots of tough things I have to swallow but in the end of the day you have to just do your best to support your kids.
I have enjoyed the opportunity to parent as I wish since my divorce. Which has been fantastic
Do your best to spend as much time as you can with your children because before long they are preteens/teenagers they will be hanging out with their friends, before moving onto having their independent lives, childhood is very short In many respects we will have a longer relationship with our children as adults and the foundation for this relationship is our behaviour and how we are there for them in childhood.
Sometimes doing the right thing doesn''t appear to be the right thing at the time but in the long it is.
I think you are still a bit all over the place AD... You need time to adjust to your situation and so do the kids. I know you are hurting, I know the pain you are feeling (been there mate). Dont rush into making any decisions based on how you feel. They don''t work. Take this time to get to know your kids better, dont ***** their mum off, They wont thank you. Start building your new life. It will be what you want it to be. Fill it with bitterness and thats what your gonna get, fill it with love and thats what your gonna get. It wont be easy. But you are not on your own.