A well respected, award winning social enterprise
Volunteer run - Government and charity funded
We help 50,000 people a year through divorce

01202 805020

Mon/Fri 9am-6pm       Sat/Sun 2pm-6pm
Call for FREE expert advice & service info

Urgent SOS suggest CUSTODY / residence to FATHER.

  • CaringParent
  • CaringParent's Avatar Posted by
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
20 Sep 12 #356829 by CaringParent
Topic started by CaringParent
urgent advise requested

Dear All experienced parents at WV

I am a caring and loving father who is going through unwanted separation from my abusive wife whom I still love !! What a contradiction, but true !

I .

My child is very attached to me and is very well settled in the local school. The court in the interim order must have kept this in mind and gave me interim resistance residence as well as ordered that my daughter should not be removed from the school till the final order which will be made after CAFCASS report.

My estranged wife is hell bent on making false allegations as she has nothing else to stand on apart from the fact that she is the MOTHER.

Never before I have felt bad about being bird a man, I love my daughter to births and care for her a lot. I work flexible and provide an excellent semi detached well equipped house to the family , all on my cost.

My child is eloquent and has said that she does NOT want to move away from me and her school.

Please help, what should I do? I am really worried that my estranged wife''s false allegations may cloud the sun of facts.

I am in the matrimonial house.

I feel that I am lucky to have a CAFCASS officer who is following all procedures and will make a recommendation after all procedures are complete. The officer has not given any views to me whatsoever as to in whose favour the officer will make an recommendation as the officer is yet to meet with my 5 years old daughter.

Please HELP. Please help me bring the truth out to honourable CAFCASS officer and the COURT. I am scred for me and my child as we share a close bond and it will be traumatic for my child to be moved away from me.

CARING FATHER

  • u6c00
  • u6c00's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
20 Sep 12 #356845 by u6c00
Reply from u6c00
Hi Caring Father.

At the moment your daughter is living with you. It takes a lot for the court to change residence, especially where the child is thriving in the current circumstances.

In my experience CAFCASS are unlikely to decide on the truth of any of the allegations. Instead they will probably write in their report that the mother has made a number of allegations and suggest that the court considers a finding of fact hearing to establish what is true and what is not.

Are you working, and if so what are your work hours? If you only work inside school hours it is certainly a strong argument that as your ex will be working 9-5 your daughter would need to spend a significant amount of time in childcare, while with you she would not.

It is the nature of abusive people that they are generally skilled at presenting themselves in a positive light in certain circumstances, otherwise their abuse would have come to light much earlier. In my experience the best place to catch her lies out is in a contested hearing. Make sure you book a barrister who has a reputation for fighting because when put under pressure by an aggressive barrister she will be under a lot of pressure to keep up the lies.

When is the CAFCASS report due? I presume after that date you will have a Directions hearing booked. Normally at that point the court will either schedule a fact finding hearing or a final hearing.

You need to prove that you can provide the following for your daughter: a home, a school, finances and contact.

Given that you are already meeting these requirements I would think that a court would be hard-pressed to justify a change of residence.

  • soulruler
  • soulruler's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
20 Sep 12 #356846 by soulruler
Reply from soulruler
You can make allegations but the point is you have the medical reports and school reports and other matters to back up your desire to care.

I know what false allegations feel like myself having often been accused of some very defamatory things myself.

You just need to state that you have not been violent at any time to your wife, that is all.

Your evidence and the photos and the reports should be in court.

  • CaringParent
  • CaringParent's Avatar Posted by
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
20 Sep 12 #356872 by CaringParent
Reply from CaringParent
Dear Both,

Many thanks for taking time to respond
Your. Commets are encouraging and supporting.

Both me and my estranged wife work 9 to 5.
I have after school care arrangements in place untill 5 pm.

I am actually scared of the dirty false allegations, which will be proven wrong on fact finding, I will be represented by a Barrister in fact finding hearing.



My job provides me certified FLEXIBLE working around my child''s school timing and has supported me always and will continue to. They are happy to write a refrence letter if required.

I anyways work 4 days a week from home and now have 1 day a week work from home . So does my estranged wife.

I am sincerely a caring loving father and my child is VERY close to me as I help her with all routines, getting ready , dropping to school and picking her etc. I also do her homework with her, p,AY with her, sing her a lullaby to bed etc.

My estranged wife believes that given that she is the MOTHER she will anyways WIN the RESIDENCE as she is making very dirty allegations on me.

Does honourable CAFCASS officer get impacted by FALSE allegations ?
I am sure they must have seen such false allegations before .

What scares me is the statistics where residence is won by mothers.
I have been doing all that a father and mother will do.

Do you think I. Will win the residence ? I remain worried for impact on my daughter if she was to be taken away from me, home, school and all that provides stability.

Looking forward for detailed view.
CARING FATHER

  • soulruler
  • soulruler's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
20 Sep 12 #356874 by soulruler
Reply from soulruler
I have never had a custody battle but their are many on here such as Khan and Forsetti who have - Khan''s case looks full of promise and Forsetti is a member of Families need Fathers - maybe he will come along or maybe you could turn to them for support and advice.

From a personal point of view you sound to me like the person who should be awarded care, I sincerely hope with the evidence you put forward that your daughter will remain residing with you and still be able to see her mother.

  • CaringParent
  • CaringParent's Avatar Posted by
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
20 Sep 12 #356877 by CaringParent
Reply from CaringParent
Please can you help me connect to the two names you mentioned.
Regards
CF

  • soulruler
  • soulruler's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
20 Sep 12 #356883 by soulruler
Reply from soulruler
If you look at the top of the screen you will see the community button, hover over it and you will see members pop up on the right hand side.

From there you can see a list of all the members and you should be able to find them and possibly send them a private message.

Also look through the child proceedings posts in contact and residence I am sure that they post regularly on that section of the site.

Hang in there there are many others on this site too who know alot about contact, CAFCASS and all those sorts of issues and men do get custody of children so you are not facing a dead loss situation and neither is your daughter.

Moderators: wikivorce teamrubytuesdaydukeyhadenoughnowTetsSheziLinda SheridanForsetiMitchumWhiteRoseLostboy67WYSPECIALBubblegum11