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Advice needed please!

  • dad101
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22 Sep 12 #357332 by dad101
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Hi
Could do with some advice. Quick summary of current circumstances:
14 year old son, lives full time with me (dad). Ex-partner (mother) lived with myself and son until 2007, she then re-located to Liverpool, 15 months later (Jan 2009) she returns to this area and starts legal proceedings re contact and residence (legal aid funded). September 2010 - final hearing in court - outcome shared residency and 50/50 split of contact (agreed voluntarily in good faith by myself).
July 2011 - ex-partner breaches court order by relocating back to the Liverpool area (she was 8 months pregnant by her new partner from Liverpool).
September 2012 - no contact between son and mother since August 2011. I have contacted ex-partners solicitor on many occassions to try to make contact arrangments (mediation referrals included). No response from ex-partner or solicitor.
Where do I go from here?
Do I take this back to court?
Do I try to enforce a court order that my ex-partner applied for in court.
How does my ex-partner stand regarding the Legal Aid funding she received during court proceedings.
To complicate matters further - we still haven''t achieved financial settlement - we still jointly own the ex-family home (in this area).
Thanks in advance for any advice.

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22 Sep 12 #357334 by WYSPECIAL
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What is it you are trying to enforce?

If you''re trying to force your ex to have contact with her son then she can''t be made to see him. Sad for your son but her loss.

You could try to get a residence order in your favour if there is a shared one at present.

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22 Sep 12 #357335 by dad101
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Thanks for that.

I''m not trying to enforce any contact. My son wants contact - his ***** mother doesn''t - her loss.
I''m trying to ensure that any absent/irresponsible parent can''t gain legal aid funding to re-appear in a childs life and cause havoc then disappear without trace without facing the consequences of their actions.
For the best part of 2 years both myself and my son went through legal aid funded hell at the hands of his mother (court hearings, CAFCASS etc). She then jumps ship and desserts her court ordered joint parental responsibility.
Any discussion regarding contact and residence is now out of the equation (despite my best efforts) - I''m just looking to deliver some payback to parental scum that have no respect for their children and who abuse the legal system in this country.
I''m willing/able and privately funded to push this as far as possible.
I''m looking for any advice about how i go about nailing a legal aid funded non resident parent who has no interest in fulfilling their court ordered shared parental care of a child.

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22 Sep 12 #357339 by fairylandtime
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Dad101

This so so sad for your son, and for you to go through all this & then the NRP jumps ship.

You cannot force a NRP to see their children, I know, my own sons contact (17&15) is very sporadic and they have to do all the running (so to speak), I have tried believe me to get NRP (in my case dad) to see boys on a regular basis, do something, take an interest etc etc but like I say you cannot force them & however much we as the RP don''t understand / cannot comprehend it there is very little we can do.

Yes you could go ack to court to enforce the order, but it may (probably) be broken again & so it goes on & on. Your son will be comming up to gcse? It is a hard time for them anyway and I know from experience how this can play out at school etc.

IMO & what I did, is speak to boys, I did not down their farther, but said we are all different & behave differently and that is something we must accept, even though we dislike it. I then made sure that if / when I facilitate contact as much as possible but try not to stress over it (hard to do when you see your kids hurting I know). I always make sure I am there for my kids, a constant in their lives and they know that, so at least they have one consitant parent.

It is hard I know & I do not "like" the situation but know I cannot fix my x so have to let it be.

Stay strong JJx

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22 Sep 12 #357343 by dad101
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Thats for that.
Everything you just said was absolutely spot on.
Both myself and my son get on with our lives - we enjoy what we have and we thrive on it.
What i''m really looking for isn''t life-style advice. What i''m after is practical advice re how i go about placing my ex-partner in front of a judge to explain her actions, and also to push for re-payment of her legal aid funding and my legal costs in relation to an obviously bogus contact/residency legal action by my ex-partner.

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22 Sep 12 #357344 by fairylandtime
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Others are perhaps more experienced in the legal aid & repayment of your legal costs, but really what i was meaning on the legal side, it may not pay off and only cost more (as in my case trying to get x to see kids).

I am not aware of any cases where due to not paying / doing as a order states got the result you are suggesting tbh. I would say you ask Dukey or little mr mike as they may know better.

JJx

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22 Sep 12 #357350 by dad101
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Thanks

The cost doesn''t matter to me.
I''m not only looking to bring my ex-partner to justice, i''m looking to stop this from happening to anyone else in the future.
Surely if my ex-partner can (legal aid funded) take me to court to garner a shared residency/contact court order that she then subsequently completely walks away from within 10 months - then surely there must be some some form of consequence - or is the British family court system a complete joke that is open to massive abuse without any threat of sanctions being impossed.

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