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  • carl1174
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23 Sep 12 #357401 by carl1174
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I have been to mediation with my ex and she agreed to us us sharing residence of our 4 children (2 step whom I have parental responsibility for). Since I have met a new partner she now is saying that she wants full custody of the children (even though three of them want to continue as we are - the eldest living with her full time for the last month and the second eldest spending the last month with we). she lives with her new partner (who looks after the children whilst she works) but she says that she can demand that our children do not spend any timewith my new partner whilst I am not there even though they all like her.

What rights has she got.

She left a year ago to have an affair and got pregnant with her new partner, she left all 4 children with me full time for 3 months only having them overnight twice a fortnight. then she saw them overnight 6 times per fortnight for a few months and now she says she wants them full time.

what are my rights as a dad as it seems that the law is all on her side.

  • khan72
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23 Sep 12 #357406 by khan72
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The law does not favour mother over father, or father over mother. The law does not favour resident parent over non-resident parent. All are equal in law.

Thats your starting point.

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23 Sep 12 #357408 by carl1174
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OK well currently I have them after work on a Monday night I have them Thursday and Friday and I have them every other Saturday night and Sunday all day. I hiowever work Sundays so my new partner has them one Sunday per month whilst I am work. My ex has stated that she is not allowed to see my children without me being there, does this hold true? Also my new partner is willing to pick them up from school on a Monday for me and have them for 3 hours until I get home, but my ex has threatened violence towards her if she does and then plays on the fact that she has them more than I do?

I just feel completely lost!

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23 Sep 12 #357414 by khan72
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So if your ex cant have you. No other woman can have you. Here is the bottom line. You have parental responsibility. You can decide on who care for them while the children are with you. Try to get as much communication in writing with your ex. Email or text. Keep them. Any threats of violence need to be reported to the police. Get a crime reference number and keep it safe. Ensure you write down all such behaviour in a diary.

Hopefully your ex will come to terms with you moving on. I pray this is the case. If not, then leave it with the courts.

Please try to stay out of court if at all possible. Its not a nice place to be.

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23 Sep 12 #357418 by Fiona
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How long has the current arrangement been in place and what happened on the Sunday you work before your new partner came along?

Above all contact arrangements need to be practical. There doesn''t seem a lot of sense in a schedule when one parent regularly can''t be with the children in contact time and the other parent is available to care for them.

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23 Sep 12 #357437 by carl1174
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Well the children are at school on a Monday so it would only be 3 hours after school on a Monday and 1 Sunday per month whilst I work so it is hardly regularly. She has offered to have them whilst I work as she wold rather that than ''some other woman'' have them. I agreed to this, but now she is claiming that as she has them more hours per week than I do i should be paying her maintenence. She also leaves the children with her new partner several times per week whilst she works which i am fine with. She has threatened violence and has been officially warned for harrassment. She also refuses to let the children go with me when i go to collect and makes them cry. The police have washed theire hands of the situation unless I have proof of assult. It just seems as she is on maternity leave she has more time to have the children all the cards are in her favour!!

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23 Sep 12 #357475 by carl1174
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My ex is now refusing to hand the chldren back over to me tonight and is saying that the next time I see them will be on her terms. Will this influence an emergency residence order (which she says she is going to apply for), do they grant them regardless of circumstance, or will the wants of the children (7, 8 and 12) be taken in to account. She is emotionally blackmailing them and causing them stress, making them cry as they want to see me etc etc... but it doesnt seem to matter in any official eyes.

I just cant understand what I am supposed to do. I just ant to see my kids and have joint residency as she agreed initially until I found a new partner and now she wont let me see them!!!

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