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return of childrens things

  • pixy
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25 Sep 12 #357847 by pixy
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singledad, if you look at the back story you will see that this is not an isolated incident, Survive''s ex loves to wind her up like this.

It''s not about encouraging her to play games it''s about stopping her joining in his silly games so that he will actually think twice about playing them - and perhaps start thinking more about the wellbeing of his children than his need to score petty points off her.

  • survive
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25 Sep 12 #357850 by survive
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o.k so here''s what I did (to try and keep the peace and not succumb to the torment of ex)....
I did not receive areply from the text I sent him... therefore left it.

Son used his brothers toothbrush last night as his one was still in the unreturned suitacse.

He had a pillow from my bed - again as this was in his suitcase.

I wrote daughter a note to say that she did not have her book and record as it was at her dads (not mentioning anything as to why - to remain adult)

Son did his footy practice in his school plimsolls

I then collected the things from exes, after work today, to save any further hassle. And to best provide for my children. They were in an outside a
area, ex was not in. so all i could take was what he had left......,

Surprise, surprise still lots of stuff missing. I text ex to say I had collected what he left out, but x,y,z missing. No response.

When children spoke to him this evening, they asked for certain things back (including daughters school book). He said he would give it back to het on Thursday, which is when he next has them. This means she has been mon-thur without her school book.

I have explained to the children that if things do not get returned then I will stop packing them as I cannot afford to replace all the things. Some of them are club kits too, which I will not be able to replace.

So now what Wiki''s, I have tried, I have collected, and yet the stupid prxt still thinks it clever to " hold the childrens things to ransom".

If i do not pack all their things they need for their activities etc, I know he will not buy them... so what now?


  • WhiteRose
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25 Sep 12 #357851 by WhiteRose
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Hi Survive,

Is it worth creating a fun checklist with the kids where they can use stickers and drawings of the stuff that goes in the suitcase and they need to remember to pack it up in the suitcase before they leave? I know its putting extra responsibility on them, but they seem at an age where they understand if they don''t pack up their stuff it may not be returned on time.

I realise its extra work to do a checklist, but can''t think of a way round it all apart from asking the kids to be responsible for packing their own things :(

Take care

WR x

  • pixy
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25 Sep 12 #357853 by pixy
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try WR''s checklist, have a couple of spare toothbrushes in stock. But keep calm, and don''t let him see how annoyed you are. It will take longer than a day for the message to get through.

  • Bobbinalong
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26 Sep 12 #357892 by Bobbinalong
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I think pixy is right, it causes more hassle than it is worth, people like this do, do it to wind you up, iots a petty way of getting back, your best bet is not to react, always remember this, if and when you react he will do it next time, there is a criminal description for these type of people, not sure what it is, but along the lines of play to the audience, if you dont react, they stop doing it, because they lose the purpose.

  • hawaythelads
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26 Sep 12 #357901 by hawaythelads
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I wouldn''t send any school books or things or out of school kits with the kids that were required the next day.
I''d pretty much send them in the clothes they were wearing that night only nothing else.
I''d take them up the school myself prior to school the next morning as he can''t be trusted.I wouldn''t give the twisted fecker the opportunity to play the games.
All the best
Pete x

  • finallyhere
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26 Sep 12 #357903 by finallyhere
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Sorry did I read that right? they have to take pillows and toothbrushes when they sleep at their dads? Surely they would have all that stuff there. Seems strange that you would have to provide all that.

I know how awkward return of things can be, had a similar situation last week where the kids and their dad expected me to take a trip to his house to collect things after school. What am I? a flipping courier service! Refused... eldest went down on her bike to collect. They won''t forget next time.

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