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Preparing for enforcement hearing next week!!!

  • sleepybird
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26 Sep 12 #358038 by sleepybird
Topic started by sleepybird
Hello

for those of you that havent followed my posts, my partner is in the process of taking his ex back to court to have the contact order enforced as she is not willing to offer any additional time unless son asks her himself and on the last 2 contact visits my partner has been unable to have contact due to son crying and ex saying that unless he agrees to going then she wont let my partner take him (very long story)

We got the hearing date today which is next week. so surprised its so quick as only sent the application off a week ago.

Anyway, we know we need to do a position statement but are unsure what to write and how much.

There have been so many issues over the past few months. and also we dont want to sound as though its tit for tat telling tales sort of thing but want to stress that:
ex has been putting son on the phone and face to face to tell my partner he doesnt want to see him since the age of 2 and now it seems to have had a serious impact on him.

Son was fine after last contact and there were no issues and then 3 weeks later he never wants to see his dad again.

Ex met a new man, got married, moved house and got pregnant all within the space of 18 months and this may have affected son.

Son was calling new partner daddy after 6 months and ex agreed with this even though my partner told her she was wrong.

Ex insists on letting son decide contact (hes nearly 5) and that he calls and requests extra time from her and that he is capable of making his own decisions (all her own words in an email she sent)

That she calls son several times a day when hes with us.

That son feeds back negitively to her with things that have never happened.

that son has said that he thinks mummy wont love him anymore if he goes with daddy, that she will get upset and scared and so on.

She cried in front of him over contact.

the list is endless to be honest

What do we include and what do we leave out

also have quite a few emails that have gone between my partner and her. He has offered so many other suggestions to help with contact and she has disagreed to it all. all of the events around contact being denied and so on, do we include these also.

Sorry to rant, just so lost with all of this now

Zonked, where are you when i need you :)

x

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26 Sep 12 #358043 by veryniaive
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you need to keep it child focussed as I am sure you know

focus on why it is important that the contact is enforced and point out how the mum''s inappropriate actions are effecting son.

It is too easy to get into mud slinging match and not only p&$£% judge off, it also polarises the parties even more.

You should refer to examples though.

It could be an idea to get someoen impartial to look over any statement, obviously those involved are going to be subjective.

I am willing to have a look if you want/trust me?

I have self repped in court 24 times....... always against his sol and barrister.

Offer is there, one thing for sure tho you haveto ask for CAFCASS report. Letting a 5 year old decide? Outrageous

Jess x

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26 Sep 12 #358045 by sleepybird
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Thanks so much, I will take you up on that offer if thats ok.

We do stay child focused in all emails etc. but just want to get these points across.

My partner is so worried that contact will be reduced and she will use sons distress as a reason to request this.

MY partner is asking for more contact aswell as he thinks that he needs to be able to build the relationship back up and more contact can only be a good thing for son and help him settle back into having overnight stays with us.

what do you think?

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26 Sep 12 #358052 by mbird
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Hi Sleepybird,well you need to keep it succinct. It is stating your position, what was the contact in the past, how often you had your son, how this was agreed and how consistent was the contact, was it broken, if so how and when (dates).
What is the present contact situation, ie no overnight contact, why, dates etc, effect this has had on the child.
Future contact wishes, re-establish contact overnight, perhaps have someone else facilitate handover, have options and explain why. Also request the start of how to return to this and that you would like this to be increased over a few months.
Also request a Cafcass section 7 report as you are deeply concerned on the psychological impact this is having on this child.

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26 Sep 12 #358055 by sleepybird
Reply from sleepybird
thanks mbird

x

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26 Sep 12 #358058 by sleepybird
Reply from sleepybird
sorry

what does as CAFCASS section 7 involve and will it set back any contact decisions made next week?

My partner is desperate to have contact with his son again as soon as possible?

  • veryniaive
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26 Sep 12 #358075 by veryniaive
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yes any CAFCASS involvement will delay a decision

but sometimes you have to ''play the long game''

what does the current court order state?

J x

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