Hi, sorry to hear about your situation. Have you tried
mediation?
Yes you can represent yourself.
You should fill in form C100 (in triplicate) and take it to your local court office (the security staff will direct you where you need to go). In the orders sought you should write Shared Residence Order.
Just a quick time saving tip: fill in the form online
here
and print 3 copies! Be aware that on my computer it doesn''t print out any tick boxes so make sure you proof read it.
Once the court have received the application they will check it over, schedule a first Directions hearing and return a copy of the application to you along with some other documents (acknowledgement of service, a questionnaire and a notice of proceedings). You must serve these on your ex or her solicitor (recorded post should be sufficient).
When an application is made to the court CAFCASS will be informed. They will initially phone both of you and do a telephone interview. They will be interested in any safeguarding concerns (i.e. drug usage, violence, mental health problems). They will also do basic checks with the police, social services and education welfare. They aim to have this report filed before the date of your first hearing.
The report will heavily influence the next steps. If either of you raises safeguarding concerns then they will need to be investigated etc.
If an agreement can be reached by any other means then you would be best to keep out of the courts if you can. Courts are happy to have a draft order presented to them to be issued rather than hear parties arguing it out through the court system.
Once a contact order is made your ex is obliged to stick to it. If she doesn''t then she can be the subject of contempt of court proceedings, though this is rarely in anyone''s best interests.
Just a side note, shared residence does not have to mean 50/50 shared care. Any division which the two of you will agree to call shared residence can be made a shared residence order.
Best of luck