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Outcome from today''s hearing!!!

  • rubytuesday
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04 Oct 12 #359240 by rubytuesday
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This thread is not just moving away from the OP''s initial thread, it is also becoming rather heated.

Perhaps if everyone took a moment to collect their thoughts and remind themselves of the original post and query then the thread may get back on track.

I am very reluctant to lock threads, but unless future posts on here are calmer, more respectful towards others and offer the OP (and others in similar situations) some proper advice/help, then I may have no alternative but to lock it.

  • mbird
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04 Oct 12 #359242 by mbird
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Thank you rubytuesday. I couldn''t agree more. This was supposed to be about sleepybirds day at court or rather her partners.
Sleepy there is some good advice in here somewhere and apologies from me if I got off track. I did try and keep it about you. Fiona is right

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04 Oct 12 #359243 by mbird
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also I''m sure I mentioned this before, but it''s really important to diary EVERYTHING, that way you have evidence if you need it for court, carcass etc.

  • rubytuesday
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04 Oct 12 #359244 by rubytuesday
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mbird wrote:

also I''m sure I mentioned this before, but it''s really important to diary EVERYTHING, that way you have evidence if you need it for court, carcass etc.


Good advice - but I think you meant CAFCASS, not carcass ;)My spellcheck also tries to correct CAFCASS to carcass :ohmy:

  • disneybunny
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04 Oct 12 #359245 by disneybunny
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rubytuesday wrote:

mbird wrote:

also I''m sure I mentioned this before, but it''s really important to diary EVERYTHING, that way you have evidence if you need it for court, carcass etc.


Good advice - but I think you meant CAFCASS, not carcass ;)My spellcheck also tries to correct CAFCASS to carcass :ohmy:


Maybe spellchecker has a point another site I use calls it crapcass lol

  • sleepybird
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04 Oct 12 #359255 by sleepybird
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We have always followed everything up with an email or text so have found no need for a diary. We have so much evidence of her trying to frustrate contact it''s unbelievable. We put all events in the position statement, all the times she has given son the choice for contact. She told lies in court also.

My partner rung the courts today and they have confirmed that from the notes of the hearing that no variation to the order in place has been but made and it states that contact is to ''broadly'' remain the same. I.e with smalls steps to make son feel more at ease. She is now stating that whether son wants to stay this weekend or not, she will not let that happen and will only allow visitation contact.

From what the judge has said, she has taken it as a given that she is to now police contact and it''s her decision on whether son stays or not despite the contact order.

Also the fact that he thinks it''s ok to use my own child as a pawn to get contact back on track, I think is discusting. My daughter will potentially watch son in a hysterical state about contact when all she''s ever known is him enjoying being with us all, not to mention she has cerebral palsy mildly but still she finds things hard to understand.

The judge knows all of this and I am quite pissed that my partner agreed to that course of action in court but understand that he wants to see his son desperately and that he knows my daughter is also missing son too.

The judge should be in my opinion dealing with this differently and not involving another 5 year old child in the mess. What if I didn''t have a child, what would he have suggested then???

My partner suggested handovers in a contact centre. Handovers to take place between me and mums husband, that contact continue as ordered by the court, that it''s not in sons best interests for contact to be delayed even further and the judge didn''t listen to any of it. My partner has tried taking toys with him etc that doesn''t work. Parental alienation is clearly to strong in this case for anything to work!!!

  • somuch2know2
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04 Oct 12 #359277 by somuch2know2
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Sleepybird- I really empathise with you both, but some of the best advice I have gotten (from this site)- has been to not fight every battle, as it is a long war.

I was alienated from my kids for a year. I went to court and ''won'' every other sunday visitation. I wanted over nights but am just going with the flow, knowing I will eventually get my rightful time.

In your case I would imagine its extremely difficult not to think you are rolling over and letting her ''win''. Sometimes you just have to do that (for a short time). Like Khan said, she has found your red button, and as long as you explode everytime pressed- she will continue.

Good luck and stay calm.

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