Hi all, I would appreciate any advice on the following;
At the moment, I have a court order for contact that gives me contact;
#Week1 day contact; pickup at 10.00 and return at 18.30, taking place on a Sunday.
#Week2 overnight contact; pickup at 10.00 on Saturday, and return at 10.00 on sunday.
In addition there is an order giving holiday contact;
3-4 days at Christmas, 4 days during the summer, easter tuesday, and a 1 bank holiday.
The holiday contact has to be agreed upon for each period, and this is were the problems began.
To try and make these negotiations easier, I suggested a rota for the week at the begining of this year, they refused to discuss this saying it was to early in the year to make plans, to me missing the point of agreeing to a rota, and therefore only having to choose a week for contact to take place instead of fighting over individual days. I clarified this point with the ex and asked for her input.
She later made a proposal for summer contact totally ignoring the rota idea.
I contacted her about her proposal and give some input, suggesting a change to some of the dates in her proposal, this was refused as she had made plans, I then suggested a change to the timing of these contacts, to follow the routine which is established on day contacts, (simply because on previous holiday contacts when the visits have been shortened from the norm, my daughter asks why I''m I going home early)this too was refused, the conversation (argument) continued but no resolution made. With the ex refusing to speak about it to me, and directing me to her solicitor.
Two weeks later, she contacts me, telling me she is changing the dates and letting me know when I can have contact, (the dates that couldn''t be changed at my request, as plans were made) I replied that we had not made an agreement as she refused to compromise or allow any input from me, to which I was informed I had agreed, this again went round in circles with her ending it direacting me to speak to her solicitor.
At this point here was also correspondance between our solicitors but again going round in circles, so it was decided to bring it back to court. A court appointment was made for August 21st this year.
On the 29th 0f july at pickup, the ex was fairly hostile and verbally abusive, I believe she was trying to provoke an argument as I was taken her to court over summer contact. I asked her not to speak like that and left. For the following thrree weeks no contact took place.
The ex made an allegation of assult to police, and contacted social services with various welfare issues, her version of the 29th July. The police did not investigate, social services, reassured her that there were no welfare issues, and closed the file. but the ex still refused contact.
So at the court date instead of discussing summer contact we discussed thiese events. It resulted in contact being temperorily being restricted to day contacts to take place on Saturday''s, with a nominated person doing the pickups and drop ofs as I was no longer allowed to do so. We were both requested to make statments to the Judge and it was to be reviewed on the 18th Sptember.
On the 18th the ex did not come to court, she did not make her statement, the judge reinstated normal contact, and directed the ex to make a statement and attend court on the 16th October.
The ex has appealed this decision, given various reasons, which basically amount to the court made these without her authority as she was not there. the appeal is to be heard on the 15th October.
Since the Judge reinstated contact, the ex through her solicitor has asked that I agree to not having overnight contact until this appeal is heard, which I refused, and today she has sent a letter stating she will not be going to either court date as she is Pregnant, so for me they sought an agreement knowing full well they intended to delay the outcome.
At the moment I''m getting legal aid, however I have had to reapply for this appeal and looks like it won''t come through on time, so I could be at the appeal self repping.
I''d like any advice on dealing with this problem.
I also question how her solicitor conducts himself, he regularly misinterpets questions asked or suggestions made by myself or my solicitor, he often sends correspondance on a Thursday evening concerning contact on the following weekend, which is forwarded to me if I''m lucky by the following Tuesday, although I now get e-mail which is a little quicker it still leaves no chance to respond or resolve there issues, and it seems he is happy to delay the process and justifie his clients behaviour, and I know if I made the same demands of my solicitors they would tell to go and come back when I''ve sensible thoughts. So can I take issue with his behaviour?
Also the Judge, to be told that this was once again a mistake and to go of now and sort things out yourselves, only to return to court when once again the mistakes happen isn''t good enough anymore, how do you get the court to assert its authority?
sorry for the waffle hope it makes sense, and thanks for any advice.