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Urgent - inappropriate behaviour by XH

  • veryniaive
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13 Oct 12 #360808 by veryniaive
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Hello

Have posted previously about concerns for how XH is acting in front of 4 yr old son.

The last time I emailed details of what he had said but left out that son said his dad had been doing it. I got denial of ever seeing this behaviour by way of response and basically an interrogation as to what was going on when son at home. Expected it but at least I had it noted.

All been fine barr the usual grotty boy stuff until today....

He launched himself at his uncle and grabbed his bits. I said dont do that its not nice, where have you seen that? He has just started school and thought maybe he had seen it in the playground.

He told me daddy showed me how to tickle willies and kind of made a grabbing gesture with his hand.

Is it normal for a 43 year old man to do this? I dont know if he actually did it to my son or just showed him.

What should I do? I feel quite ill tbh

As ever

Jess x
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  • Yummy_Mummy
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13 Oct 12 #360813 by Yummy_Mummy
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No I don''t think it is appropriate for your XH to do that but your son is only 4 years old and his understanding is very limited.

I keep finding myself suggesting to make a note of it. If it then becomes too often then you need to raise it officially.
And yes you do need to keep a note of it. You need to continue to explain it to your son that this is not how we behave as he is on a learning curve and becoming self-aware is normal around this age.

If you are very concerned about your son and your feel his behaviour has changed ( you know your son better than anyone else), I would strongly suggest that you speak with your Health Visitor.
In the meantime you can ask for advice from ParentLine which is confidential.
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  • autumn9
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13 Oct 12 #360814 by autumn9
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I would make Childrens Services aware immediately. As you rightly say this is inappropriate and you need to let the correct agencies know what your son has told you.
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13 Oct 12 #360815 by veryniaive
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Thank you

Do peolpe think I should mention it to his dad?

Do you have any info about Parentline YM?

J x
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13 Oct 12 #360816 by veryniaive
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autumn9 wrote:

I would make Childrens Services aware immediately. As you rightly say this is inappropriate and you need to let the correct agencies know what your son has told you.


Is that social services? Do I go direct or through school????

J x
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13 Oct 12 #360817 by Yummy_Mummy
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No I personally do not think you should mention it to his dad.

Parentline is just support for parents and their number is 0808 800 2222. They do not contact any agencies.

You could get in touch with Childrens Services and Police to report it if you feel it is urgent.
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13 Oct 12 #360818 by veryniaive
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would they believe me?

Is it an innocent thing for a dad to do? cant belive i am asking that but tbh I am so scared of that man and what he has put us through but I know I have to do what is best for son

xx
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