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What can I do to stop her coming back in?

  • Now Gone From Wiki
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16 Oct 12 #361313 by Now Gone From Wiki
Topic started by Now Gone From Wiki
My STBX disappeared nearly four months ago and hid my son for 2.5 months. Turns out she''s been having an affair and had moved into the OMs one bedroom council flat.

Three weeks ago my son (12) stated that he could not live with her boyfriend as he is a heavy drinker and is not nice to my son.

We had a residence hearing today and she announced to the judge that to get a two bedroom place (so she could have effective residence) she would need me to sell the house. It is likely we will get shared residence but that the court will respect my son''s wishes not to see her boyfriend.

The option she put forward was to move back into the FMH when undertaking residence. She is on the deeds and the judge therefore she could do it without an occupation order being required.

What (legal) steps can I take to make this hard as I don''t know if I could stand her being in the same house as me again?

Any and all advice welcome.

  • Emma8485
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16 Oct 12 #361314 by Emma8485
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Has the judge told her to move back in or has he said she should do this if the court awards residency?

What Directions did the court give and have they indicated Shared residence is the likely outcome?

As your son is 12, and doesnt like your wifes partener is living with you not an option for him - has he expressed the desire to live with his mum?

I dont know if the court can award a residency order but then say that mums partner isnt to be there - I thought that only applied to Contact orders but am hoping a more experienced Wiki can advise on that point.

I know its hard and you think you wont be able to stand it but if you stay put then then you would have your son at home at least?

take care

  • u6c00
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16 Oct 12 #361317 by u6c00
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Given that she was arrested a couple of weeks ago for trying to violently force her way in to the house in front of your son I would have thought a non-molestation order would be in order?

Having an abusive ex move back in does not sound like an appropriate course of action for your son.

I may be misunderstanding but it sounds like she is proposing something akin to ''nesting'' which is where the child remains in the same house and the parents move in around the shared residence or contact orders. Personally that sounds like a horrible idea to me.

What is your son''s position? I know CAFCASS will not have done a wishes and feelings report yet but what is his wish as expressed by him?

Is there any reason why she is unable to rent a place of her own in the interim?

What was the judge''s opinion or comments?

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16 Oct 12 #361324 by Now Gone From Wiki
Reply from Now Gone From Wiki

u6 - it was my eldest son who tried to break in. She was there but didn''t attempt entry so no issue there. I like you am concerned about ''nesting''. Thanks anyway though.

Emma - today was just a Directions hearing and we have an interim contact order in place. My wife realises that she will not get residence if she is living in a one bedroom flat with her boyfriend. Therefore she asked the judge whether she would need an occupation order to get back into the FMH. The judge just said she didn''t need one but that her boyfriend would not be allowed in. It was a ''throw away'' comment said at the end of the session by her solicitor. We have another hearing on the 7th November at which CAFCASS will be present and the judge will award (I suspect) shared residence but not at her boyfriend''s place. Not sure whether that answers your questions.

My thoughts/questions are;

1. Can I ask her to ''pay her way'' if she is living at my place?

2. She has no car and my son''s school is 3 miles away, how is she proposing to get him there?

3. How can I protect myself against false allegations being made once she is back in the property?

  • Enuff Already
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16 Oct 12 #361326 by Enuff Already
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I would apply now for some kind of an injunction against your wife as a matter of urgency for protection for you and state it would not be in the interests of your son to be living in such a hostile environment. You have had the right to privacy for 4 months and she has made her home elsewhere.

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