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  • elusivesoul
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19 Oct 12 #361916 by elusivesoul
Reply from elusivesoul
Wow, that confabulation explanation makes a lot of sense. I would cringe when my stbx would tell a story and add his own twist to it. I always presumed that he had a very poor memory and that he was aware of telling white lies.
Another trait both my stbx and his mother share is seeing people either as good or evil, which of course it totally unrealistic. Is this also associated with AS?
Lastly, the hardest thing to accept since he walked out on us, has been his total lack of empathy. It''s as if our love never existed. :(

  • carer
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19 Oct 12 #361921 by carer
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Hi elusivesoul,

Sadly your Ex wont have the same ''feelings'' as you do about the marriage break-up - he wont be giving it a second thought - only in terms of how it has affected him - not you. That is typical AS - in many ways they are looking for a mother figure and once you ''resign'' from that job their focus is on who can fit the bill next!

People with AS cant see things from others'' points of view - so he wont likely understand that you feel sad at times - you arent *his* anymore so why would he care.

It is very common for people with AS to slot people into categories - good or bad - they dont do the middle ground! The amount of people/girlfriends that *bullied* my Ex was long - but in reality they were just normal people who couldnt cope with the AS - so had to be bad. If a person doesnt challenge the behaviour of a person with AS then they are seen as good - quite possibly they have AS themselves.

Try not to allow it to upset you - you no longer have to accommodate your Ex and whilst you may feel sad now you will rebuild things and move on and realise just how lovely you were - despite your Ex''s view of you!


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